Invisapeeps 2.0

Forty-two · Guru

I love it here

EmmDee · Guru

42, I think you are awesome. I agree with everything you said.

ana · Senior Member

Why was BA kicked off the other board?

If that is not to be discussed, maybe someone can shoot me a PM?

EmmDee · Guru

I don't really know, I wasn't around the other board at that time. I think someone caught me up briefly over here but I don't remember.

flan327 · Senior Member

I don't know either, but I suspect a certain mod was behind it.

flan

ana · Senior Member

Oh, I gotcha. I think I know which one!

Aardvark · But my mom says I'm cool!

ana wrote:
Why was BA kicked off the other board?

If that is not to be discussed, maybe someone can shoot me a PM?

I don't mind it being discussed, as long as the conversation doesn't devolve into a "let's bash the Zeta board" thread.

ana · Senior Member

Great aardi!

So, what happened??

Aardvark · But my mom says I'm cool!

I don't know!

ana · Senior Member

Anyone? Fill me in!!

Balloon Animal · Guru

Thank you 42. I am glad you are here too. We don't always agree but we do it civilly and that is fine by me. :)

Yes, I was banned from the other board. Over what they claimed was racism but to me it was not. I don't need to debate that again. I am not racist. I am an equal opportunity shade thrower. ;)

They were just looking for a reason to have me gone and from what multiple people have told me, they did not agree with it.

I am okay with the ban. I am happier over here. This board rocks! Thanks Aardi for all your hard work!

Aardvark · But my mom says I'm cool!

You're welcome, but I should say that it's not really hard work. For the most part, everyone here behaves.

Balloon Animal · Guru

Ana- if you want the full scoop- what happened was I was talking about how in our area there are a large number of Hispanics, which a lot of those are illegal immigrants. This is not my opinion. This is a fact backed up by research and statistics. I told about how my grandmother as well as my husband both had been involved in a hit and run with a male that appeared Hispanic. In one case he was actually speaking Spanish as he peeled away out the window at my Grandmother.

I stated how the officers in both cases said that often if they are illegal immigrants they are too scared to talk to the cops so if they get in an automobile accident, they hit and run. He also stated they often don't have insurance either. In our state it is illegal not to carry valid insurance. Again, all the things I just said are 100% facts. I did not give opinions or anything. Just told our story. I assume the officers knew what they are talking about since they probably deal with hit and runs every day.

Then somehow I got jumped on for being racist. I am still baffled by it.

Not really wanting to debate this again, but I thought I would let you know what the racist claims were and to me they were not valid. I have dated and had sex with Hispanic men so pretty sure I like them.

winds55 · Guru

It's a damn shame they wipe out threads inactive after 90 days on that other board.

Aardvark · But my mom says I'm cool!

30, winds.

ana · Senior Member

Thanks for the recap BA.

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

I was banned for the same reason (racism claim that was complete BS) as BA... LOL. Maybe we should start a club!

winds55 · Guru

The really scary thing is you two believe what you type. The annoying thing is you think everyone else is stupid enough to believe everything you type.

Balloon Animal · Guru

winds: I think you were also banned from there so you are not really one to talk. I could be wrong but I thought I heard you got banned and that is why you left there. You had not posted there in a very long time.

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

Don't know what's so scary about the truth, winds...

But... whatever.

If you doubt the veracity of my claim... you could always ask 42. We've discussed it and she didn't have a problem with what I said. Heck... she's even a member of "my" board as well!

-- Edited by RichardInTN on Tuesday 20th of May 2014 08:36:13 PM

Forty-two · Guru

Richard was banned for a racist statement and he was addressing me in the statement.

Richard to say I did not have a problem with what you said is way over stating because I did, but I think it was absolutely absurd that you were banned based on the comments made by others.

-- Edited by Forty-two on Tuesday 20th of May 2014 08:31:46 PM

Balloon Animal · Guru

I would think since 42 was the one that it was done to, she would be the best judge of if it was ban worthy or super racist. If she forgave him and did not see it being as bad as it was made out to be, that is very telling.

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

My apologies then. I mis-understood our correspondence on that.

What I said wasn't racist... even if some people took it that way.

Forty-two · Guru

Richard what you said was racist I am sure that you were banned not just for the statement in and of itself but for lack of acknowledgement that it was racist and apologizing. Again I absolutely positively think what you said was racist and you will never acknowledge that but I still don't think you should have been banned. Yes you did apologize to me privately but it was after you were banned.

ana · Senior Member

Oh good. I'm glad you said something 42. I too found the statement racist and would probably have let it go except for the voracity that Richard used in defending that the statement was NOT racist.

I can't know what is in your heart and head, Richard, but please be aware that the statement itself WAS racist. At least it was to me.

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

I don't want to drag this thread into that argument... but... what I said wasn't racist.

Could it be USED in a racist way, if someone wanted to? Certainly... but there are many words that that applies to. Just because something CAN be doesn't mean it IS. I'm about as far from being racist as it's possible to be.

ETA: and I'm still sorry if you took it that way... It was never intended in it's racist usage.

-- Edited by RichardInTN on Tuesday 20th of May 2014 10:09:54 PM

ana · Senior Member

Please understand that however you may have intended it to be taken, the statement has huge racist connotations and others might not overlook it as graciously as 42 has.

Again, I am not saying YOU are racist but you might want to be careful in telling a minority how to feel about certain words and phrases. Coming from a white man, it can feel overbearing and oppressive.

Forty-two · Guru

ana wrote:
Please understand that however you may have intended it to be taken, the statement has huge racist connotations and others might not overlook it as graciously as 42 has.

Again, I am not saying YOU are racist but you might want to be careful in telling a minority how to feel about certain words and phrases. Coming from a white man, it can feel overbearing and oppressive.

I don't feel that way; I just think it feels like more racism.

ana · Senior Member

I didn't mean to words in your mouth 42. I don't feel that way either. My first reaction was anger, but I calmed down. smile

Forty-two · Guru

Ana

The uppity phrase reminds me of a "joke" often told to black people to remind them no matter how successful and educated you may be know your place.

The "joke" is "What do you call the black MD, PhD millionaire?"

N!66ER

-- Edited by Forty-two on Tuesday 20th of May 2014 10:08:59 PM

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

I'd call him/her many things, but that particular word actually wouldn't ever occur to me (mostly because all of them are opposite of the NON-RACIST definition of the word)

ETA: "over-achiever" comes to mind... as well as "driven"... "successful"... "ambitious"...

-- Edited by RichardInTN on Tuesday 20th of May 2014 11:08:23 PM

Forty-two · Guru

Yes, but Richard you need to hear, understand, and acknowledge that using the word uppity in reference to a black person is the same thing. Until you accept and acknowledge that people are going to see you as a racist. It doesn't matter how you meant it and you can deny you are a racist all day long but it will not change how others perceive you.

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

I hear, understand, and acknowledge that some people THINK it is the same thing. Their thought processes however are completely out of my control.

Forty-two · Guru

Their thought process is out of your control but what they think of you is not.

winds55 · Guru

No, BA, the target of the comment is not the one who gets to judge whether something is bannable,or racist, or insult or whatever. The only thing telling is you hoping to see Richard vindicated so you can deny your own racism since you have a similar "I shouldn't have been banned, others said so" defense. (And "I have 'fill in blank' friends" - classic defense of racists, although they don't usually go so far as to brag about their sexual exploits as part of it.)

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

Forty-two wrote:
Their thought process is out of your control but what they think of you is not.

What they think of me based on their flawed misinterpretation of something is also out of my control.

flan327 · Senior Member

winds55 wrote:
The really scary thing is you two believe what you type. The annoying thing is you think everyone else is stupid enough to believe everything you type.

Wow!

I consider Richard a friend.

flan

Balloon Animal · Guru

winds55 wrote:
No, BA, the target of the comment is not the one who gets to judge whether something is bannable,or racist, or insult or whatever. The only thing telling is you hoping to see Richard vindicated so you can deny your own racism since you have a similar "I shouldn't have been banned, others said so" defense. (And "I have 'fill in blank' friends" - classic defense of racists, although they don't usually go so far as to brag about their sexual exploits as part of it.)

yeah well last time I checked racist people probably are not willing to let someone of a race they don't like inside of them, just saying. ;)

I believe Richard when he said he did not mean to use that word in a racist way toward 42. I do understand that it could be taken that way which is a shame because the word is useful when describing someone that is snooty or stuck up or acts above their station or gets upset easily. I have used the word to describe people too. However I do acknowledge that when used toward a black person it can be considered racist. So I don't think he is racist or that he intended to harm 42. He has not used the word since. Many others on that thread (because I read it) said they also used the word in a non racist way. So it is not overall a taboo forbidden word like the n word is. But yeah, you probably should not use it towards black people just to be safe.

ana · Senior Member

See, that is what most people would do.

But Richard keeps insisting he is right and everyone else is wrong.

Forty-two · Guru

ana wrote:
See, that is what most people would do.

But Richard keeps insisting he is right and everyone else is wrong.

Correct and if Richard does not acknowledge that calling a black woman uppity is racist people will continue to see him as a racist. But you know he can't help that.

Cactus · Senior Member

Balloon Animal wrote:
winds55 wrote:
No, BA, the target of the comment is not the one who gets to judge whether something is bannable,or racist, or insult or whatever. The only thing telling is you hoping to see Richard vindicated so you can deny your own racism since you have a similar "I shouldn't have been banned, others said so" defense. (And "I have 'fill in blank' friends" - classic defense of racists, although they don't usually go so far as to brag about their sexual exploits as part of it
yeah well last time I checked racist people probably are not willing to let someone of a race they don't like inside of them, just saying. ;)

I think that wanting sex with someone and thinking they are equal are two different things.

Enslavers have had sex with the people they enslaved, colonizers have sex with the colonized, invading armies have sex with the people they are invading. People have sex with their servants while thinking very little of them. And what about people with race fetishes? Haven't you ever heard a racist reason for why someone was supposedly attracted to a particular race or ethnicity?

And most men have sex with women - they certainly don't all really like them or believe they are equal.

ana · Senior Member

Very good points Cactus.

Forty-two · Guru

Cactus wrote:
Balloon Animal wrote:
winds55 wrote:
No, BA, the target of the comment is not the one who gets to judge whether something is bannable,or racist, or insult or whatever. The only thing telling is you hoping to see Richard vindicated so you can deny your own racism since you have a similar "I shouldn't have been banned, others said so" defense. (And "I have 'fill in blank' friends" - classic defense of racists, although they don't usually go so far as to brag about their sexual exploits as part of it
yeah well last time I checked racist people probably are not willing to let someone of a race they don't like inside of them, just saying. ;)

I think that wanting sex with someone and thinking they are equal are two different things.

Enslavers have had sex with the people they enslaved, colonizers have sex with the colonized, invading armies have sex with the people they are invading. People have sex with their servants while thinking very little of them. And what about people with race fetishes? Haven't you ever heard a racist reason for why someone was supposedly attracted to a particular race or ethnicity?
And most men have sex with women - they certainly don't all really like them or believe they are equal.

I won't even look at history men rape women they for which they have contempt all of the time. I know white women who say the want some big black wood but they damned sure won't bring the wood's owner home to meet their father. Pardon my crassness but just because you want black d1ck doesn't mean you arent a racist

Balloon Animal · Guru

Cactus wrote:
Balloon Animal wrote:
winds55 wrote:
No, BA, the target of the comment is not the one who gets to judge whether something is bannable,or racist, or insult or whatever. The only thing telling is you hoping to see Richard vindicated so you can deny your own racism since you have a similar "I shouldn't have been banned, others said so" defense. (And "I have 'fill in blank' friends" - classic defense of racists, although they don't usually go so far as to brag about their sexual exploits as part of it
yeah well last time I checked racist people probably are not willing to let someone of a race they don't like inside of them, just saying. ;)

I think that wanting sex with someone and thinking they are equal are two different things.

Enslavers have had sex with the people they enslaved, colonizers have sex with the colonized, invading armies have sex with the people they are invading. People have sex with their servants while thinking very little of them. And what about people with race fetishes? Haven't you ever heard a racist reason for why someone was supposedly attracted to a particular race or ethnicity?
And most men have sex with women - they certainly don't all really like them or believe they are equal.

Good points. But, as I said we were dating. So when you date someone, they are an equal. But, yeah I guess if I just hooked up, that would be a bit different.

Cactus · Senior Member

I'm not at all saying this is the case with you but not all dating relationships have equal partners. Some people don't want equality. There are men who want to date women of a particular race, ethnicity or cultural background or from particular regions because they think they will be more accepting of an unequal relationship.

Balloon Animal · Guru

Cactus wrote:
I'm not at all saying this is the case with you but not all dating relationships have equal partners. Some people don't want equality. There are men who want to date women of a particular race, ethnicity or cultural background or from particular regions because they think they will be more accepting of an unequal relationship.

true. I have always only gone for one type of guy mostly. He needs to be kind to me and mostly willing to let me take the reins as I am a pretty type A person. If they can do those two things then we get along and I make sure they are happy.

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

Forty-two wrote:
ana wrote:
See, that is what most people would do.

But Richard keeps insisting he is right and everyone else is wrong.

Correct and if Richard does not acknowledge that calling a black woman uppity is racist people will continue to see him as a racist. But you know he can't help that.

Why would I acknowledge something that's untrue? It's NOT racist. White people can be uppity too. Indian people can be uppity too. Asian people can be uppity too. If someone assumes it's a racist comment that's on them (especially after it's pointed out to them that there are uses that are NOT racist).

If a person explains that water is wet, and a person wants to incorrectly decide that they mean to say it's dry... who is is that can "help it"?

ana · Senior Member

Jeez Richard.

I can sort of understand the frustration with you and the mods on the other board with your circular reasoning.

If the common opinion is that a word is intrepreted a certain way, perhaps you should acquiese to it?

I'm sure there are a tonne of white people out there that would insist the N word is not racist. And they also would be wrong.

When a person of colour tells you they find the connotation of a particular word or phrase racist, it might behoove you to take that at face value and believe them.

ana · Senior Member

Just to clarify. Pet peeve of mine.

Indians ARE Asians, what with India being in Asia and all.......

EmmDee · Guru

Here are my two cents on this topic. A comment can be made without racist intent and still be offensive to a race because it has racist history. In these instances, IMO, the person making the comment should apologize for the effect even if it was not intended and the person who is offended should accept that some times not every one is aware that a comment can be taken a negative way. That should be the end of it short of maybe a historical basis for why it is offensive. Accept it as a learning experience for both parties. No harm, no foul kind of thing. Of course, I say this as a white chick and all.