I'm trying to deal with enough myself right now, with the job-hunting and all the worries that entails.
Just got a long 'O woe is me, I'm so depressed I can hardly get out of bed' e-mail from my also-unemployed friend.
Don't dump this on me!! I know it's tough, believe me, I do. Go cry on your husband's shoulder.
Part of her complaining and carrying on was how much they'd spent on entertainment this weekend. This may be hard-hearted of me, but too damn bad. She's a Big Girl. If she thinks she and her DH shouldn't be spending money they don't have, then say it to him! He's a nice guy, but doesn't seem to understand this basic concept -- he wants something, he gets it and she's left trying to figure out how to pay the bills. I'd have put a screeching halt to that years ago!
I've been on job sites til I'm about cross-eyed (got to take a break from the computer soon!). No, I have not found job fairs for us to attend. No, I cannot recommend any other job sites than I already have. No, I have no suggestions for how to set up your LinkedIn profile.
I can totally relate. I have been unemployed for longer than I care to admit. It is difficult enough to maintain a positive attitude without others dumping on you too.
I have actually phased a lot of people out because of it. Really, I have enough stress to deal with, I cannot deal with yours too. I know that sounds terrible but jeez, I am just not in a place to deal with it right now.
I can totally relate. I have been unemployed for longer than I care to admit. It is difficult enough to maintain a positive attitude without others dumping on you too.
I have actually phased a lot of people out because of it. Really, I have enough stress to deal with, I cannot deal with yours too. I know that sounds terrible but jeez, I am just not in a place to deal with it right now.
That's how I'm feeling with her right now. Yes, I understand that you're upset and depressed. So am I. I don't need to deal with her angst too. I've got enough angst of my own!
The 'oh we spent too much this weekend' followed by everything they did just makes me want to throat-punch both of them. You know you can't afford it, why are you out blowing money like a drunken sailor on shore leave?
Yeah, the few that I cannot phase out are sometimes the worst. My sis the nurse (who makes a crapload of money) is always complaining about money issues. I want to just yell at her. My dad complains about his job ALL THE TIME. Really? It must be nice to have one. You must have forgotten that I do not. He is pretty negative all the time though.
I really don't mind if they want to complain about their jobs (I do get that life goes on normally for everyone else) but I just don't want to hear it EVERY SINGLE TIME I see them. It is like a constant reminder that I am jobless.
I think you need to do a lot of whining and crying of your own when she starts. Maybe if she sees that you are overwhelmed too she will back off. You might have to pretend that you are not as strong as you are so she won't keep taking all the support. I had to do the same thing when my sister and I were both going through divorce. I was much more able to deal with it once she decided I needed support as well. Sometimes people forget that even strong people need encouragement too.
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Make up your mind to be happy and happiness usually comes your way.
I really do understand that she's upset and depressed -- she was 'reorganized' out of her job with virtually no notice and has been seriously screwed over by the company on her severance, benefits they promised to continue for awhile and when she filed for unemployment are now threatening to sue to have her severance returned. Plus, her DH has zero responsibility when it comes to money issues or pretty much anything else. Nice guy, but I'd have kicked his arse onto his shoulders a long time ago for some of the brainless things he does because she takes care of everything for him.
It seems like she can't rely on him -- even for their financial well-being -- so she's venting to me. If I weren't in the same position myself, I might be able to deal with her better.
At least I knew the contract I was on was ending and had plenty of notice. I just hadn't expected finding another job to be this slow. I'm worried about things like what the hell I'm going to do when my health insurance ends -- I've got one obscenely expensive prescription with no generic -- and paying my property tax bill. The value on the house has gone down, the property taxes haven't! COBRA coverage is something like $500/month. No way!
If she chooses to let her dh act like a teen with 20 bucks burning a hole in his pocket, she is an enabler. Blames it all on his lack of responsibility while denying her own role yet still benefitting from 'his' bad choices. Yep he forced that 12 dollar margarita down her throat.
Since I am not as polite when itcomes to listening to Whiney bs, lwould be calling her out on every half truth that left her lips. The phrase " I really dont have much sympathy for your continued foolish choices"
Would become my new conversational catch phrase.
Ok acyltually, during that last conversation I would have faced off and plainly told her.... " enough already. I need a break from your absolutely avoidable problems while I work on my real ones"
I gotta agree with them Lady M, crying around, spending money, and depending upon you to find her a job just isn't the way to go. Not selfish or mean of you at all.
Dear god, stop whining at me, I can't answer your questions and your husband is a selfish, childish idiot!!!
She's finally filed for unemployment and gotten a confirmation number. Now, she's asking me how to do her weekly claim. Look at the freakin' form and fill it out. Click 'submit.'
She's still asking me about what companies she should apply to and where can she find job fairs. Do that same damn thing I am -- go to the bazillion and two websites and look it up!!!!
I actually did give her a couple of leads for jobs that are much closer to her than me, but I can't give her the details about the jobs -- I don't have them. I'll give you the number of the HR department or the website. If you want more info, talk to them!
Apparently, her husband is going to baseball games five times this week. Tickets, parking, food, drinks. $$$$$ They went out to dinner a couple times last weekend, the movies and to some exhibit at $25/each. Cue the whining about no money and not sure how to cover all the bills. You want advice? Do the same damn thing I'm doing -- stay home and quit spending money you don't have!
She is friends with another couple (I know them, but haven't seen them in years) and she also spent a lot of time running back and forth to the hospital after taking the husband of that couple in when he had a recurrence of a MRSA infection -- serious enough that he's been in for almost a week. The wife? Off on a choir trip. So, he's not happy about that and Friend is getting an earful about it. And feels guilty because she doesn't want to 'take sides.' Frankly, while I think this guy is a jerk, I don't blame him for being upset. Wife is also a jerk and selfish one too. (which is why I don't socialize with them.)
Yeah, I need to quit reading her e-mails, it just frustrates me. I just sent one commiserating about spilling tea on her desk (the cat did that on mine the other day) and telling her about my sewing project. No mention of anything else.
She's a Big Girl, she should be able to figure this stuff out without me explaining it all to her.
