I acknowlege that ahead of time to head off time. I realize I should mind my own business that's why I'm bringing it up here and not discussing it irl.
My nephew's girlfriend has three kids. Two from her first husband and one from a one night stand that she had while she was seperated.
The baby daddy comes from a prominent family in town on his mother's side. It's a small town so that doesn't mean that much except that the youngest one is related to half the town.
The gf, *Molly, gave the baby her exhusband's last name because she wanted to have the same last name as her kids.
Her ex in-laws are not as prominent in the community as far as names on the sides of buildings are concerned but they are active and their name is rather well known. Even though their son is a known abuser and they know their ex dil left their son because he beat the crap out of her they are beyond pissed at HER for giving the baby their last name.
On Sunday Molly let the youngest go with his paternal grandmother (the one with the prominent family) for a week and grandma put him in Vacation Bible School. At the conclusion of the week one of the counselors in VBS posted a picture of him holding up his certificate and the name on written on it is his bio father's last name.
Nobody knows who wrote his name but I think by Sunday it'll be out and depending on who did it some people are gonna be pissed. The kid is barely five years old and this is the second time something like this has happened.
When he was born the someone at the hospital wrote Baby Storm (mother's maiden name) on the side of his bassinet even though his mother's legal name was Knight.
To break it down:
At birth he was named D. Knight By family affiliation he is D. Austin If he'd been given his (absent) bio father's last name he would have been D. Miller (name on certificate) If he'd been given his mother's maiden name he would have been D. Storm
I want to speculate on who did it but these women scare the **** out of me LMAO!
You know how Maria Shriver is a Kennedy by family affiliation. It's sorta like that.
The Austins are one of the biggest families in town and if he's known as one of them it takes away more of the stigma of his birth than being any of the other names.
Being a Knight is prooooobably 2nd best depending on who's judging (believe me there is judging going on)
Depending on who wrote it calling him a Miller could be considered an insult.
Writing Storm on the side of his bassinet was 100% an insult.
Oh, I think I misunderstood when you wrote that Miller is a prominent family, I thought it was a good thing and would not be an insult. That is one big ole mess for sure.
Don't want to hijack, but this did make me question something. Can a parent give whatever last name at birth they want to? Does the name have to be the same as one of the parent's listed on the birth certificate?
No, the Millers are not prominent at all. If an Austin woman married a Miller and they got divorced she'd go back to being an Austin. She'd try to give her kids and grandkids the advantages of being known as Austins.
On the flip side of that, Molly didn't go back to being a Storm when she got divorced. She remained a Knight and named her youngest Knight as well even though he's not related to the Knights.
To answer your question, yes. Parents can give their kids whatever names they want. But in Molly's case her name really was Knight and it still is. She has no intention of changing it even if she marries my nephew.
Winds, yes. D's grandmother was an Austin at birth. She married a Miller and had a son. Then she got divorced and went back to being an Austin.
Her only son now has a son.
She's a daughter in a family that values their name. She considers her grandson to be just as much an Austin as her brothers' and male cousins' grandkids.
To the maternal grandmother *Gemma, calling him a Knight is a bigger insult than calling him a Miller.
That's one of the reasons there is so much buzz around the photo.
Gemma does a good job of remaining friends and friendly with Molly. But it sticks in her throat to call her only grandson a Knight. It could be that she registered him for VBS as D. Miller.
If she did...yikes!
I don't think she did though because if she was going to risk changing his name and get on Molly's bad side I think she'd go whole hog and register him as D. Austin.
Don't want to hijack, but this did make me question something. Can a parent give whatever last name at birth they want to? Does the name have to be the same as one of the parent's listed on the birth certificate?
When AB was born, we had paperwork to fill out that asked for the first, middle, and last names of the child. There were no rules or regulations listed, so if we wanted to name him Princess Consuela Bananahammock, we could have.
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"I never understood why blessings wore disguises. If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked." - Sophia Petrillo
I do realize that the mother and son share the same name. It just was a question that popped into my head even though it did not directly relate to the topic of the thread. Thanks for the answers, good to know.
Now, I understand the situation a lot better. I am quite curious who started the waves with this. I am kind of surprised the child was not aware enough of the certificate to have mentioned something.
It seems silly to some people bit tne Knights don't like it one bit. They don't even pretend to like Molly. They don't have to because they can see their grand kids when their son has visitation. They never take little D.
Gemma doesn't like it either but she has to be nice to Molly because her son isn't in the picture to grant her visitation. Sometimes she takes Molly's older two kids.
My sil Cher is the mother of Molly's boyfriend. She used to play grandma to all three of Molly's kids but something happened between them and now Cher can't stand Molly.
I think Molly was very short sighted in naming her son.
It looks like she had an affair and tried to pass her son off as her ex husband's. That makes her look bad 6 years after the fact. Everybody knows that he beat her but his abuse stopped after the marriage was over so people don't stay mad about it. Her 'transgression' is still causing a stir.
Emm, little D can recognize and write his first name. I don't think he's started learning his last name yet.
Sometimes I get so angry and I can’t control my actions It’s like I’m watching myself do things that I wouldn’t even think I could make happen. When will this misery go away? The Anxiety I feel? It has been so long since I’ve had a great day. My family is falling apart each and every way. I’m sure t...hat he has made it this way. He ruined my life the day I met him And he let me down until I left him. How do you “co-parent” with someone you can’t even stand? I tell you, it’s impossible! He’s a horrible man! He said if I left him he “would make my life a living hell”. Well, damn he wasn’t kidding…Wow! He’s dishonest and mean, and has no respect for others. For God’s sake, he beat on his own kids’ mother! And now that I am gone, another takes my place. He beats her too, until she is defaced! But he won’t remember. Oh! Not a chance. Mommy and Daddy will cover his ass. I know what I endure is to make me stronger But it just seems to make life so much longer! Sometimes I wanna run away, Cause in a way, I’m his prey. He watches me every day Just waiting to darken my way. Jesus, hold me because I am weak And just maybe I’ll get some descent sleep?
Moll wrote this poem last night. I'm far enough removed from the situation to see it objectively. IMO the best thing for her son would be to change her son's last name before he starts kindergarten. Even if she doesn't want to change it legally I think she should either start referring to him as Miller or Storm.
Of course she has the right to name her son whatever she wants but naming him Knight has freaking consequences! And while I feel for any battered woman I have to wonder about the ones who dileberately do things to constantly piss people off and then wonder why they keep getting abused.
It really sucks to be her because she will always be tied to her ex because of their two children but she could make things easier on herself if she would quit slapping her ex (and his parents) in the face by continuing to use their name for her son.
I know she sent this poem out because she wants people to sympathize and be on her side but her biggest ally could be little D's real grandmother and what Molly doesn't realize (or does she?) is that his last name is a slap in her face as well.
She put it on fb but she blocked everyone that she didn't want to read it. Other people are probably going to see it but it's not like anything she wrote is top secret.
Most of this is common knowledge and even in the paper. Some of it is family gossip but since she's related to 3/4 of the town through her kids' fathers and her current SO that's just about everybody.
The child of this discussion is not the child of the guy in the poem. His kids are the older two and they've witnessed him beating their mother and his second wife, their step mother.
He can't keep his abuse a secret when he does it right in front of them. His arrests have been in the paper. I have no doubt they feel humiliated but not by poetry.
The youngest one doesn't bear any of this shame. He wasn't yet born when Molly was married to her ex and he never went on visitation with his older siblings so he never witnessed the abuse of the 2nd wife either.
His shame (if you want to call it that) is of a different variety.
Molly claims in the first line of her poem that she can't control her actions and then she complains of misery and anxiety. I just want to say -HULLO! Yes you freaking CAN control your actions.
Yes, I agree it was a sh!tty thing for someone to use your child to humiliate you but do you not realize (of course you do) that you are using your son to humiliate people?
I can't say these things to Moll because it's really not my place. I love little D. I've been an aunt to him for two years. I've seen Moll cut people out of her/his life over the past few years. She's smart and funny and talented and a good friend but she is also the author of most of her own problems.
After the picture last week everyone was buzzing but I can't/don't discuss Moll with anybody irl. So here I vent. She is a good mother but she's the sort that will cut you out of her life if you dare disagree with her. I hate that.
