"So we've been planning a party for a few weeks now. originally we were gonna have it at my moms but mil called DH and told him they had plans. We assumed it was BC of the location so we pushed back the date and decided to have it at our apt. Well aweek went by and every time I tried to contact mil to see if they could come she ignored me. She did however insist that DH bring DD over so they could see her on her actual birthday. Again while refusing to say a single word to me. so thinking nothing of it DH met mil so she could babysit while he went to a work meeting. When I got off work and he got out of his meeting we met up and headed to his in laws to get DD thinking we'd be polite and visit for a bit. When we walked in the entire house was decorated,there were balloons and crumpled wrapping paper from the presents they had opened and even a cake. His mil had taken it upon herself to have a party with his side and not even ask or invite us! After seeing that I was obviously FUMING, they all insisted it wasn't a party that they just had without us but that they wouldn't be coming to our party.... Do I win the in laws from hell award? Lol"
I just...wow.... That would be the LAST time my MIL ever had an unsupervised visit with AB if she pulled that stunt.
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"I never understood why blessings wore disguises. If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked." - Sophia Petrillo
Apparently, the ILs have issues. This is from the OP as a follow-up:
"Thanks guys. The only thing she has on us is that my mom watches DD more BC I and mil work days and my mom doesn't. Granted there are times that she could watch DD but it's an hour drive to her and an hour in the opposite direction to work. So I do occasionally choose my mom out if sheer laziness. But when DH has her they usually go to his parents if they're not ignoring him that week. She's had this power struggle going since DD was born. But whatever her issue is she could talk to us. DH and I are willing to work with her to avoid drama. What she did was way out of line."
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"I never understood why blessings wore disguises. If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked." - Sophia Petrillo
"I hope it was worth it" and then turning around and heading out would probably be my response. I would be livid! You don't sneak around behind my back and exclude me/my spouse from anything to do with our children. I don't care who you are, it's not going to fly.
That is a pretty crappy thing for MIL to do. I'd be mad too! The first birthday is a big milestone in a baby's life and being excluded would seriously damage the family relationship. But it sounds like it was on shaky ground already.
I think the amount of manipulation and deceit involved with pulling off that birthday party excluding the kid's own parents and hijacking the actual birthday pretty much means they forfeit the right to see the child unsupervised. Not to mention refusing to speak to the child's mother, without good reason, is grounds enough to not get unsupervised visits anyways.
I just can not believe she would feel this is ok in any way. What did the rest of his family think was the reasoning the parents of the bday kid were MIA?
I just can not believe she would feel this is ok in any way. What did the rest of his family think was the reasoning the parents of the bday kid were MIA?
The OP never said.
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"I never understood why blessings wore disguises. If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked." - Sophia Petrillo
I think I'm with 42. The ILs definitely get the prize, but it's so ridiculously awful that I think I would laugh (somewhat bitterly) rather than cry.
I have a SIL who does things almost as dreadful. It grieves me because I do not see as much of my brother and his kids as I would like, and sometimes I get angry when she is terrible to my mother, but mostly I laugh because she's so absurdly hostile.
People like this miss out on a lot, like a good relationship with the parents of the child they so dote upon.
