Invisapeeps 2.0

Forty-two · Guru

I think it is time to go hungry-a rant

Aardvark · But my mom says I'm cool!

I agree with you. That kid's mom is doing him NO favors.

dqm either · Don't Quote Me

Forty-two wrote:
I have a friend with a 16 year old son who has a job working in the grocery store. He knew he had a field trip at school that required lunch and the night before the field trip his dad asked him what he was going to do for lunch. The teen could not answer.

Could not or would not?

If he can't do something on his own I think it's compassionate to help him. What does he do at the grocery store? Is he a greeter or a bagger or something? If the boy has mental challenges his parents should be helping him.

My oldest has challenges. The other day I was talking to a 'friend' about how my SIL is contemplating moving his young family to SD for a work opportunity and how it's going to be hard because my daughter can't drive.

And the 'friend' said in a somewhat rude manner 'well then she better get over it and learn'

evileye I didn't say she doesn't know how. I said she can't.

So yeah people do have to drive her even though she's 22.

If your child has special needs you do what you have to do.

Forty-two · Guru

dqm either wrote:
Forty-two wrote:
I have a friend with a 16 year old son who has a job working in the grocery store. He knew he had a field trip at school that required lunch and the night before the field trip his dad asked him what he was going to do for lunch. The teen could not answer.
Could not or would not?
If he can't do something on his own I think it's compassionate to help him. What does he do at the grocery store? Is he a greeter or a bagger or something? If the boy has mental challenges his parents should be helping him.
My oldest has challenges. The other day I was talking to a 'friend' about how my SIL is contemplating moving his young family to SD for a work opportunity and how it's going to be hard because my daughter can't drive.
And the 'friend' said in a somewhat rude manner 'well then she better get over it and learn'
I didn't say she doesn't know how. I said she can't.
So yeah people do have to drive her even though she's 22.
If your child has special needs you do what you have to do.

The kid does not have special needs, he is preparing to go to college in a couple of years and getting his driver's license now. He is Joe Average teenager with an over-protective mother. If you are in a grocery store with money and you know that you have a field trip the next day why would you not buy yourself something to eat?

dqm either · Don't Quote Me

Yeah ok.

But just using my daughter as an example...

Many people -including the friend that I was just talking to earlier this week - don't know that my daughter has special needs because like you said

She has a job and went to college and was a very normal teenager.

As her mother I know what her needs are. A 'friend' could very easily say something insensitive about our life because they don't know our situation.

All I'm saying is I don't judge because I have a kid that will need support all her life.

But I'm sure people are judging us. Talking **** about other people's kids probably makes them feel better about themselves.

Forty-two · Guru

RichardInTN wrote:
Assuming that the kid has no special needs... yeah, the Mother wasn't doing the kid any favors.
Two very important things:
A 16 year old kid isn't going to starve if they miss an entire day of meals... so no lunch would just be an annoyance (but maybe one that would teach the kid a lesson).
At some point, every kid is going to be on their own, and if the parents don't let them make their mistakes now when it's not a big deal... what's going to happen when Mommy & Daddy aren't around? Is the kid just going to stand there with their finger up their nose trying to pick out an answer?

No the kid does not have special needs I have known him for 10 years, he has slept over, I have been on cruises with him, other vacations with him. He is a great, perfectly normal kid who is wildly over-endulged by his mother. The mom thinks the dad neglects him because he doesn't do everything for him and the mom seems to baby him...and his brother for that matter. Hell, the mom was still cutting their food at 9!

-- Edited by Forty-two on Monday 12th of November 2012 08:52:03 AM

Forty-two · Guru

Evil Stepmother wrote:
It does seem like parents today coddle their children more than they did when I was growing up. I've had mothers call me asking about jobs for their kids and you hear a lot about parents calling college officials about their children's issues in school.

Who takes a sack lunch on a field trip, though? Around here the buses always go to McDonald's when the kids from out of town come in to see the Capital building or compete in athletic events.

I think the parents here would go ape **** if a school-sponsored event included McDonalds.

-- Edited by Forty-two on Monday 12th of November 2012 07:46:45 AM

Evil Stepmother · Guru

It does seem like parents today coddle their children more than they did when I was growing up. I've had mothers call me asking about jobs for their kids and you hear a lot about parents calling college officials about their children's issues in school.

Who takes a sack lunch on a field trip, though? Around here the buses always go to McDonald's when the kids from out of town come in to see the Capital building or compete in athletic events.

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

Assuming that the kid has no special needs... yeah, the Mother wasn't doing the kid any favors.

Two very important things:

A 16 year old kid isn't going to starve if they miss an entire day of meals... so no lunch would just be an annoyance (but maybe one that would teach the kid a lesson).
At some point, every kid is going to be on their own, and if the parents don't let them make their mistakes now when it's not a big deal... what's going to happen when Mommy & Daddy aren't around? Is the kid just going to stand there with their finger up their nose trying to pick out an answer?

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

We always stopped somewhere (McDonald's, Taco Bell, Burger King, whatever) on field trips in High School.

Forty-two · Guru

We never did.

FRAED · Guru

I have an almost 28 year old stepDD who has two children and she CANNOT do ANYTHING by herself - she IS NOT special needs.
She is just under the impression that it's her mother's responsibility to co-parent her children.
And she goes ape**** when her mother does something with her other daughter and grandson.
She treats her mother like she's her nanny. And her mother lets her.
Mommy will complain that she just wants to be a grandmother - she raised her children - but she does not put her foot down and say "no" EVER.
So when older stepDD cries she needs her mother to go with her trick or treating, to put stuff on layaway, to a baby shower for someone the mother doesn't even know (just some recent examples - I could go on and on ad nauseum) - even when her mother has already made plans to do something with younger stepDD - her mother will cave and cancel her plans with younger stepDD.