Invisapeeps 2.0

1.  If the advertisement specifies that you must have a certain kind and number of years of experience, and your resume reveals that you have nothing resembling what is required (e.g. the ad says you must have two years working as a legal secretary in a litigation firm and you have worked at the Gap and a hotel), be sure to send along a (form) cover letter asserting that your qualifications "exactly" fit our needs.

2.  When you e-mail your resume to me, make sure that I can tell from the name of the document that you have several versions of your resume, as well as learning your nickname (e.g. "foo-foores3(legal))

3.  When you send along a cover letter claiming that you are "unlike other applicants" because of your zeal for accuracy, be sure to include a number of incorrect spellings, typos, and grammar/usage errors on your resume. 

4.  Bonus points if your (form) cover letter has a blank in the space where you meant to insert the type of employer--e.g. "It has always been my ambition to practice        law"

5.  A resume that lists all the impressive positions you have held, such as "Manager of Legal Department" and "Executive Assistant," but fails to provide the name or address of any of the employers, will certainly evoke a smile. 

6.  If you're having trouble composing a cover letter impressive enough, try to think of really fancy ways to say you are a hard worker.  Try something like "I have documented contributions in providing superior results." 

Part of me feels really bad about not even interviewing people who do things like 3, 4 and 5 above (and these are all real examples of what I've received in the past couple of days),  because the person might really be a good worker and need the job.  But I just can't justify the time to meet with a jobseeker who makes silly errors on his or her resume and/or cover letter. 

Just venting really, but what are people thinking?