I'm not really having a ****tail, just thought that might attract a little interest.
I just wondered if others might like to stop in and chat for a minute in the evening.
I really like the pace of this board, in part because (like everyone else I imagine) I don't have time to keep up with really active, multiple threads.
But I'm usually ready for a break about now and maybe others are too.
How's your day been? Mine kind of sucked.
ETA: HA HA HA! I forgot that the common word for a drink before dinner contains a naughty word by activeboard standards...
-- Edited by huckleberry on Friday 7th of December 2012 07:22:17 PM
Yeah that is how my daughter feels, it is not fair that she can't dress like her sister who is 5'6 and weighs only 105 pounds.
Would it help to point out things that your daughter can wear that would not look as good on the 5'6, 105 lbs sister's body type? So instead of focusing on what she can't wear, she can focus on what she CAN wear that will look better on her body type than others? So she doesn't feel like she's losing out.
eta: also emphasizing the good things about her body and how to showcase those with the clothes she wears seems like it would help with avoiding the shame aspect.
-- Edited by tigerlily on Friday 7th of December 2012 08:23:33 PM
My husband just brought the boy home and the little boy was sobbing because he stole something at teh grocery store. He was inconsolable about the shme of doing such a terrible thing.
I found my daughter in the mall and called her out on the fact she was wearing tights as pants (she did not go to school from my house this morning). I told her friends that they were not being a friend to her because she looked like an idiot. She is grounded for the weekend. Some people can get away with wearing certain things and some people cannot.
Sounds like we could both use a before-dinner drink, 42!
We hired a new associate, someone I wasn't really enthusiastic about but my partner liked. And we really needed someone experienced enough to manage smaller cases without a ton of supervision. He was here a week, left early every night, screwed up stuff a newly-licensed lawyer would be expected to know, told us that his mistakes were a matter of "style," that he wanted us to show more respect for his experience and let him work on his own, then didn't show up this morning, sending a text to the effect that things aren't going to work out.
Sigh. I should be glad he left before he had to be fired, but still...
I know your daughter is younger than mine but I am curious how would you balance telling a kid she does not have body for certain clothes with not making her feel ashamed of her body?
I know your daughter is younger than mine but I am curious how would you balance telling a kid she does not have body for certain clothes with not making her feel ashamed of her body?
Small Huck is our lagniappe, 42--we have two other daughters, now 25 and 18.
Both my older daughters are large-breasted (unlike their mom) and have been since they were in grade school. I had to talk to them when they were pretty young about not wearing tops that would show a lot of cleavage and was pretty blunt about this as a matter of good taste and having their clothes look well on them. They both thought it was unfair that girls with smaller chests could wear any kind of neckline and they couldn't but they got it.
Of course now they dress as they choose. My older daughter doesn't wear anything low-cut, my middle daughter does.
Glad I have boys...I think. DS16 had a dance tonight so I drove him and his date to school. She was really pretty. I asked why he didnt take his friend (girl). He said that he wanted to take someone he had a shot with. It was funny to see her little sibs staring when DS went to the door and as we were leaving.
My youngest has taken to 'wandering' and it's getting to be a problem. She thinks that just because she has a phone that she can go wherever she wants. She came home with a black eye today from going to the ice rink and getting into snowball (iceball) fights.
I just had to ground her because I ---told--- her to come straight home from school. I'm pissed because we were supposed to go down and see the baby and go shopping this weekend but now I have to stay home and babysit a teenager! I wishI could drink with you all but I don't have anything.
I had a much harder time with "wandering" with my girls than fashion and body issues, to be honest. I wanted them to be confident and adventurous, and yet could never feel comfortable letting them have the freedom my son did. I guess it's sexist but I worried about their safety--still do, even though they are sensible girls and well-trained in self-defense.
I hope I can figure it out before Small hits her teens.
Despite the fact that she came home with a black eye i'm not overly concerned with her safety. I mean yeah some but I'm not paranoid. We live in a very safe area. My problem is her freaking attitude. She's the baby of the bunch and she thinks she can get away with anything. Grades were the issue last week when she didn't get to stay and meet the baby. The deal is zero missing assignments come Friday or you get no priveleges over the weekend. Last Friday #3 had 2 missing assingments out of 8 classes. Number four had more than one missing assignment in every class. So I told them both no skipping school Monday.
The deal this week, even one missing assignment, no going to see the baby, no money, no shopping, no nothing except stay home and finish your work.
What does she do? She runs off playing ice wars, comes home with a black eye and more missing assignments than last week. She must think I'm playin' This weekend is not going to be pleasant for her. I already told her and the school at mid terms that she's on notice. If this keeps up til the holiday I'm taking her out of public school and putting her in the Charter.
NOTHING is more frustrating than an obstinate teenager, especially ones who could easily do what's needed but won't.
My son had a semester or two like that in high school. DQM. He is not the youngest but he is the brightest and the most stubborn of my kids. Hang in there!
After you started this thread I went out and purchased some frozen drinks in a pouch so I could hang out with you guys but I drank them both already.
Anyway, I figured out why #4 is so freaking far behind on her algebra homework. The teacher gives out something like 50-80 problems a day. They have 90 class minutes to do the work and anything they don't finish they can take home and bring back the next day.
#4 hears -homework- and decides that she doesn't have to do it right then. She'll do it at home. But she doesn't have 2 hours a night just for math so she never finishes. Or, if she concentrates on the Algebra then she doesn't do her science or her language arts or history so she gets behind in that. I took her out of choir and told her that she will be using choir time to get caught up. I let her stay in band because it's easier to get into choir in HS than it is to get into band so missing 1/2 a year of choir won't hurt her chances.
Winter break is going to be here before she know it and I'm not kidding. If she has even one missing assignment I'm taking her out of public school. It'll be more work for me so I'll probably take up drinking with you guys on a more regular basis. This graphing **** is always a PIA.
Damn, I forgot to pick up another margarita when I was out today. This drinking thing may become a habit. I'm not much of a drinker. No need as there isn't much need to destress in my life but lately this kid is driving me nuts!
So I mentioned that I took her out of choir so she'd have some extra time during the school day to catch up on her missing assignments. Last night I checked her progress and today ..........
She's still in the exact same spot as she was last night.
I'm over here BANGING on this keyboard to keep from banging her head. I asked her what she did in her study period today and she said
-I read a book -ok what class was the book for? -No class, it was just a book. -Wait what?! Why were you reading a recreational book during study period? -Oh I didn't know that was study time. I thought making me quit choir was the whole punishment. I didn't know I had to do work too.
I am clearly doing something wrong here. How could she NOT know that she was supposed to be working during that time? How could she possibly not know that?!
Ok I think I may be calm enough to go back and address her but I'm going to be prepared with some booze tomorrow. Who knows what she's going to come up with next?
On the bright side, the black eye is cleared up and she came straight home from school today.
I think tomorrow I get buzzed BEFORE we start working instead of waiting until after she goes to bed. LOL!
I had to attend court in the boonies which took up half the day, consequently have way too much work to do to even consider a pre-dinner drink (probably not dinner either)
So y'all have one for me. I will pre-toast those who have admitted to requiring a wee nip thus far:
To 42, may your children greet you at the door with smiles and a nice bunch of flowers, all suitably dressed and wondering why they didn't notice before that you are always right;
To DQM, may your teen-ager suddenly realize that doing her homework would be easier than getting in trouble for not doing it--and give you at least some of the credit;
To Mary, may all your martinis be large, cold and dirty (glad to see you here too)
I sorry to hear you can't drink tonight Huck. I had to do an hour of karate tonight with The Boy....I always want to give the instructor a fifth of vodka afterwards because those little kids drive me crazy!
It was too icy/snowy to go out today so no margarita for me. Next time I'm going to stock up on them instead of getting them one or two at a time. Or perhaps I'll learn to make my own. :)
By my estimate #4 should be completely caught up on all work by Sunday night. That means this coming week should consist of just keeping up. I hope she manages because if she can't that means this program isn't working for her and I need to switch her to another program after the holiday. The might be better for her but it's much harder for me. Our charter program is more similar to homeschooling. She goes to school twice a week for assignments, instructions and to demonstrate mastery. The rest of the days/time the student has a one on one tutor or parent. The tutor costs extra so it would of course be me.
I don't mind it all for LA which I love but she just drags out and makes it more complicated than it needs to be. Hello! It's reading and writing. It's words and stories. There's nothing more fun than that.
History is not so bad either. We don't have to do anything more than read the book, watch some internet videos and answer the questions.
I don't even mind Algebra that much although my brain refuses to retain that information I can do it and teach it.
But in Science she's going to be missing out big time. Disections, field trips, special guests, all the equipment she needs for experiments, lab partners... none of that will she be getting from me but damnit all if I don't know what to do. I leave her in the public school so she can get all the benefits and she can't keep up or I home school her...take away all the bells and whistles. She gets a much more basic education but I know that she gets it and isn't just wasting her time.
She's also missing out on band and choir and PE. Choir I don't mind as much but taking her out of band might hurt her chances of getting back into band in HS.
PE isn't as much of an issue for me because I don't like her getting too physical anyway. She's rather frail. I'll add her to my gym membership and take her swimming and to my spin class a couple times a week.
We've been working so much together that I think she's looking forward to the Charter :/
At first I was using it as a threat but she really does want to succeed and she's understanding more and getting more done when I explain it to her vs her teachers so she WANTS to do 2 school days 5 home days rather than 5 school days 2 home days.
I'm sorry you are going through all this dqm. I home schooled my oldest for a little while but that was only 2nd grade. I will do it again if I have to but I'd rather not. Is she open to sitting down with you for 1-2 hours every school day when she gets home? The 2 of you could go over her work to make sure she gets it. She would still be able to attend regular school and have all the perks (band, field trips, ect.). Then again if you are spending 10-20 hours a week that might equal out to home schooling anyway.
Is there an after school program she could go to? We have a college (a few actually) near us and some of the students help run an after school program. They do homework first and then games/crafts when that is done. They have one on one tutors and small groups. My oldest son goes Monday through Thursday and there is no cost.
I hope everything works out and you both get what you need.
Oh, that's a shame - you should get your turn as the designated drinker! Maybe you could vamp it up with a couple of ****tails and your DH at home. I know it's not quite the same, though. It snowed all day and now we have some freezing rain in the forecast, so we are staying in too. Luckily, I have frozen chicken cacciatore, frozen spanokopeta and stuff for mini black bean empanadas to munch on if I decide to crack open a drink.
Two people, who I will no longer be driving for, either out right said it or strongly suggested that if I want my 'turn' that I should not pick NYE. They will gladly be my DD any other night of the year like on my birthday or something.
My brother is DJing a party up at the ski park so I did manage to find a ride up with him.
It's not like I'm asking people who already had plans to drink to -not- drink. I'm just asking to tag along in their car with whoever they already had as the DD.
Anyway the vamping idea is rather last minute and inspired by shabby treatment by the husband so he's not invited. I'm getting decked out and going out to have fun without him.
My only concern is that going to parties with my brother when he's working makes for a loooooooooong night because he has to set up and take down. Oh well. Off to take a nap.
I did ask my friends what was up and why I couldn't tag along with them and they explained it nicely enough that I can't be mad plus it was a last minute request anyway and I realize that they didn't have to say yes.
It turns out that not everyone does DD the same way I do it. I will not get into a car with anyone who has been drinking so when I'm DD I don't drink ~at all~. They all know this. But when they do DD, they designate someone to stay sober. The person can drink but not get drunk. No one thought I would go for that and since they didn't have anyone who had signed up to not drink at all they didn't want to take me up there.
So I rode up with my brother. I had a hot apple pie at that party and ended up driving anyway. My brother had two gigs last night so at the 2nd gig he put two drinks for me on his tab. I ended up drinking a 7&7, a soda and a water. LOL I also drove myself home in his car and he drove himself home after that.
If anyone had given up their night of partying so that I could have two drinks in 8 hours they may have been pissed so I take back my frustration at not being able to get a ride. This year I may consider taking the stick out of my butt.
