Invisapeeps 2.0

In her defense, it's a very healthy meal. Even if you want a kid to gain some weight, you don't want to be feeding him all kinds of crap that's loaded with fat and sugar.

But I understand that she annoys you on many levels.

That sounds like a kid that NEEDS a "Big Mac" (or two)!

Nope. He's not even getting 3 bigger ones, b/c he refuses to eat his lunch at school. He's "not hungry". It's a packed lunch with stuff he likes - PBJ, chips, carrots, juice box. Nope. Won't do it.

It would be a total waste of time. She's a doctor. Her husband is a doctor. And I don't actually care anymore. I just want her and her entitled attitude and her vomiting dog and her bullying, whining, BRAT of a child to move out.

My parents have a large home. I live with my parents. I save money and I help by doing the grocery shopping, cooking, etc. My cousin got divorced. She rented a home for a while, but when she completed med school she did a residency, which has really crazy hours. She had probably about 70% custody of her son, and also 2 dogs. So we offered and encouraged her to move in with us. It actually worked well for about 2 years. We have a finished basement with it's own bathroom that is her "suite". This way, she had somebody to care for her dogs so they arent' locked up for 12 hours at a time, and somebody to take her son to school when she or her ex couldn't, etc.

She finished that residency....and started a second residency. So we were at the "finish line" and suddenly looking at 3 more years of this.

Maybe even more, b/c her second residency is in emergency pediatrics and she wants to work in an emergency room. So that wont' be regular hours either.

What's happened is that at first we didn't mind picking up her slack when she was working 80 hours in a week. But it's gotten to the point that even when her schedule is normal, she doesn't do stuff like run the vacuum, take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, etc. For example, this Halloween, she and her son were going on a trip - so right before she left, she sits him down at the kitchen table to carve pumpkins. She did through the newspaper in the trash, but she didn't bother to wipe the pumpkin goo off the table or off the floor, and she just put her tools in the sink for US to wash. I said to mom then (yet again) "You have GOT to say something to her. If you don't, this thing will blow up and our relationship with her will be over." And of course she didn't.

It's just a huge big mess.

Mom has actually asked her to move out. Of course she was SHOCKED. Sadly, it took my sister saying that she wouldn't come to our home anymore and wouldn't allow her son to be exposed to cousin's son's bullying anymore. Since she's stuck to that sense January, mom's realized that she's not willing to not have her grandson over for 3 more years, and since Cousin is completely unwilling to change her behavior or her parenting, there's no other choice but for her to move out.

Mom and Cousin actually went to a counselling session, and Cousin basically said that since we'd allowed her son (now 8.5) to open our presents when he was a toddler, it was our fault that he wouldn't stop opening my nephew's presents (age 3.5).

She's just a really terrible parent. And as a result, he's a really terrible child. It's become a total "missing stair" situation - we've been working around it for years, but the behavior gets worse and worse.

Stick to that! If she's a grown woman she should be cleaning up after herself!

Yeah.... NO.

If that were my place (if I were in your Mom's shoes) she'd be outta the house so fast her head would spin. Clutter I can overlook (for a while) dirty food remnants that can attract bugs... not happening in MY house.

Mom asked her to move out by the end of March, so hopefully they will! Mainly I'm just here to vent. I'm not a "decider" in this, so I've drawn what boundaries I could. I told mom, "If you want to continue to enable her and be used by her, fine. That's your choice. But I am not helping. So don't say, 'I suppose you won't watch CS so I can do XYZ. Because I won't."

It's just bizarre to me b/c as a peditrician she has studied children, read children's psych articles, etc. And she's being so stupid about it. I just want them to go away and be horrible together.

Wow, how is the kid performing on such a low calorie diet? I would think he would be suffering completely aside from weight loss.

Man that reminds me of this crazy girl I used to know. She was a friend of a friend. I would not befriend a freak like her. She basically did the whole making herself puke for attention thing. She was absolutely nuts. Like a full grown woman living on her own would make herself puke for attention right in front of people. I heard my friend talk about her doing that and blamed it on some medical condition but I really did not buy it. Just because she only seemed to do it when it was convenient for her.

One day she was over at my friend's apartment and my friend had to run out for a few minutes for something and left her with DH and I. So we are all sitting around and DH and I are kinda just ignoring her and just out of nowhere she gets a trash can and starts like dry heaving and you could tell she was forcing herself to puke. Did not go in the bathroom discreetly or anything. I think she wanted us to come over and all baby her and "Are you okay? blah bblah" but since I had already heard about how she does this all the time and my friend also suspected it was for attention, we just totally kept chatting amongst ourselves like nothing happened. When she noticed we were not paying attention she miraculously stopped.

Rare, ITA. When my mom kept him, that's what she did. She quickly identified which foods he liked and which ones he'd put up a fuss about. So he would get 2 plates - one with the disliked foods and one with the foods he liked. The one with the yummy foods was placed behind the first one, and he had to eat everythign on the first one (which was about 2 bites of each of the hated foods) and then he got the 2nd one. After he cleaned both plates, he could have more of any of the foods he wanted.

Even a year ago, he was fairly obedient and tractable when his mom wasn't around. But now he's much much harder for us to control when his mom isn't around. I'm just done. Mom still plans on being available to help - fine. I'm not.

My cousin pays $500 a month in rent. For that, she gets utilities (water, cable, electric, gas and internet), food (she does some of her own grocery shopping, but she also makes very free with food we buy, which is fine), dog care and child care. While as a resident she's not making big bucks, she makes about 40k a year. Plus she gets child support, and her ex IS making big doctor bucks. For several years she was also paying half of a private school, but this year she switched him to public school. (Man, you should have seen the fuss he raised over going to a "desk school")

I assumed that over the years she's been squirreling away $. But mom (who has some serious co-dependent issues) told not to pay her rent for February and March and to use that to help her get started in her new apt. (But of course she's still eating our food and we're still taking care of her dog.) Cousin mentioned she might need help with her deposit, etc. REALLY?! At this point, mom says, "I don't care, I just want her out of my house."

Well, last night she posted on facebook that she wants to take a scuba or ski vacation, so she's looking for suggestions! B!tch, if you can't afford your deposit on a new apartment, you can't afford to go skiing! Mom says she's not going to help with the deposit etc, since Cousin apparently has enough money to go on vacation, but we'll see if she actually sticks to her guns.

Today she will have to work 36 hours straight, b/c she had to take off of work to keep her son for the snow day. Mom said, "I wanted to tell her, 'If you'd watched your kid at Christmas, you wouldn't have to watch him now.'" Some chickens are finally coming home to roost.