Invisapeeps 2.0

EmmDee · Guru

Facebook and friends

iluvsuomi1989 · Senior Member

Yes; it's a friend I used to be very, very close with and she has been (and, I believe still is in many ways) a good friend. But some of her FB posts make me think she has gone off the deep end. I haven't seen her in a long time and I'm almost afraid to make plans to see her. I'm afraid she'll start ranting like she does on FB.

Can you just "hide" this woman's postings? How often do you really need to see her?

EmmDee · Guru

I could hide but I prefer to kind of keep a mental note of what to not talk about around her. Right now, that list is much longer than what I am comfortable discussing around her. Luckily for me, at some point our schedules stopped meshing and the weekly Friday night dinners with them kind of faded away. I somewhat feel bad for DH but then I remember that I am out of town about half of the month, he can have his friend over during that time for his nerd/play time.

Desdenova · Motherhood: Sleep is for the weak!!

I have a friend on FB that post multiple religious things, they make me uncomfortable because even when he and I share the same religious affiliation he's much more hardcore with his believes.

And he defends a lot of stuff about the Catholic Faith that I don't agree with and it's very very difficult for me to abstain from writing something.

OpheliaDev1 · Guru

I think some people treat Facebook the way some people use a journal. They're ranting and raving to get stuff out of their system, not really thinking that everybody and their cat is reading it and forming opinions. Sometimes I say really nasty stuff when I am venting about something to my mom or my sister (not nasty stuff about them, but stuff that is angry and hateful), not really meaning it, but feeling angry and needing to vent. I know they know and love the "whole me" and are not going to think less of me b/c somethings I have very ugly thoughts. But I wouldn't post that on Facebook. I think some people forget that.

EmmDee · Guru

Ophelia, you are spot on. She posts every fleeting thought on it. I find it most strange because she friends EVERYONE. I literally knew her 3 hours and she friended me.

iluvsuomi1989 · Senior Member

OpheliaDev1 wrote:
I think some people treat Facebook the way some people use a journal. They're ranting and raving to get stuff out of their system, not really thinking that everybody and their cat is reading it and forming opinions. Sometimes I say really nasty stuff when I am venting about something to my mom or my sister (not nasty stuff about them, but stuff that is angry and hateful), not really meaning it, but feeling angry and needing to vent. I know they know and love the "whole me" and are not going to think less of me b/c somethings I have very ugly thoughts. But I wouldn't post that on Facebook. I think some people forget that.

I agree w/you. My friend is actually a very nice person; but you'd think she was raving lunatic w/some of her FB posts. I'm comfortable w/her ranting on her own FB page, because in a sense, that is like her private property and even though I disagree with a lot of what she posts, I would never click "Dislike" or post a rebuttal. However, if she brings up certain subjects when we are together, I'll shut her down quickly (it's not that she disagrees as much as she can do it in a disagreeable fashion and assumes everyone should think like her and if they don't, there must be something wrong with them). When she gets like that in person, I use humor; I might say something like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't get the e-mail where you're allowed to tell me how to think; must've missed that one." I say it with a smile on my face, but she gets the message that her ranting has gone too far and she stops.

EmmDee · Guru

I have had that same friend Suomi but I wasn't able to have a come back like that. I think she would be quite similar. She really does seem like a nice person but I think we had an instance of premature FB friending. I had not solidified my views of her before I was able to see that side of her.

iluvsuomi1989 · Senior Member

EmmDee wrote:
I have had that same friend Suomi but I wasn't able to have a come back like that. I think she would be quite similar. She really does seem like a nice person but I think we had an instance of premature FB friending. I had not solidified my views of her before I was able to see that side of her.

Yeah, when I first started on FB, about 5 years ago, I accepted every request I got; now, I'm much more selective.

Riding in the WY Wind · ~Ride Free~ ~ Live Free~ (M)

some people just have no boundaries on FB

I just try to skim and go from there...sometimes it works....sometimes not LOL

winds55 · Guru

I have FB friends that I have changed to view only if I'm tagged, or only if there's pictures. The pictures one may have to change, though, since besides pictures of her family, she's sharing pics from every 'mom' group out there and I don't need any more e-card crap filling my news feed.

Balloon Animal · Guru

If she act fine in person I would overlook the facebook stuff and give her another chance till she actually does something TO you specifically. If her facebook stuff bothers you, just hide her feed.

Balloon Animal · Guru

EmmDee wrote:
Ophelia, you are spot on. She posts every fleeting thought on it. I find it most strange because she friends EVERYONE. I literally knew her 3 hours and she friended me.

I friend people I interact with. So I would have friended you too. But I only have about 200 friends because I only friend people I interact with. For me facebook is the main way to get in touch with me so that is why I want to have people I interact with on there since I am not big on phone calls or emails as much as just shooting you a quick facebook message or I can share pictures with you I took when we hung out.

EmmDee · Guru

She is kind of judgmental in person as well. Well, I won't say judgmental. She is, very opinionated and voices them without thoughts of her audience some times. I don't think this makes her a bad person but it makes me uncomfortable because we disagree on many things. I am not purposely avoiding her but DH knows that she isn't my favorite person so he doesn't put me in situations where I have to see her. I only see DH about 1/2-2/3 time so he would prefer not subject me to someone who makes me uncomfortable during that time.

Balloon Animal · Guru

EmmDee wrote:
She is kind of judgmental in person as well. Well, I won't say judgmental. She is, very opinionated and voices them without thoughts of her audience some times. I don't think this makes her a bad person but it makes me uncomfortable because we disagree on many things. I am not purposely avoiding her but DH knows that she isn't my favorite person so he doesn't put me in situations where I have to see her. I only see DH about 1/2-2/3 time so he would prefer not subject me to someone who makes me uncomfortable during that time.

Well that makes sense. I agree.

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

I don't think "overshare" is limited to facebook. I also don't think the hypersensitivity to what others post is limited to facebook. Heck, I've seen both on Peeps (before my unjust banishment... but I'm not going to turn this into a discussion about that... the Peeps reference about overshare was valid to the OP).

I also think "overshare" is somewhat expected of certain people and in certain places. I just ignore "excess information", personally... whether it be on facebook (in the rare instance that I am actually ON facebook) or here, or in another group, or IRL.

Balloon Animal · Guru

I agree facebook can be overshare. I am sure I bug people on there too sometimes. If it is just the occasional thing I just ignore it. If it is constantly I will just hide them and it can change my opinion of them (like for example my neighbor who posts a bunch of religious homophobic stuff on facebook really made me dislike him), but in general I still try to go on how they treat me in real life and go from there. I did see some girls who I thought were friendly to me being mean girlish on facebook and I was not sure if they were talking about me or not but it made me think they were talking about me. So I hid them and now I don't try to talk to them in real life much. I wish I had not seen that and then I could have gone on trying to be nicer to them but now I just avoid them.