Invisapeeps 2.0

OpheliaDev1 · Guru

Do you expect family members to attend your child's bday parties?

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

Expect? No.

Make the offer, and hope? Yes.

kinalikamom · Senior Member

When my kids were growing up, it was almost always a family get together. They each had one (yes, one) 'real' birthday party with friends.

But my burning question here is...are Cousin and her son invited? and will there be drama galore if they are not?

-- Edited by kinalikamom on Friday 11th of April 2014 07:16:15 PM

Aardvark · But my mom says I'm cool!

RichardInTN wrote:
Expect? No.

Make the offer, and hope? Yes.

This, mostly. I generally hope SIL2 and her noisy, badly behaved kids can't make it.

OpheliaDev1 · Guru

Nephew's bday was in September, so it's a while off. Sister scheduled it on a day CS had soccer, so Cousin interrupted CS's soccer game to bring him to the bday. No major drama, but that's b/c Mom and I kept a constant eye on CS.

living revived · Senior Member

My family always did a family birthday celebration (apart from any friend party). So yeah, we expected everyone to be there. If there were multiple birthdays in a month, they would do them all at once. But it was always scheduled with everyone's input.

I don't expect anyone to come to my kids' parties, because there's the small matter of the international border to be crossed. :P

Actually, we don't do parties at this point, because feeding everyone food and getting candy for a pinata that is allergy-free for my kids is freaking expensive, and I'd rather spend it on a trip as a family. But that will change when they get older and actually care about these things.

Evil Stepmother · Guru

I don't have any kids of my own, but have attended family parties for friends' children. I don't think anyone was expected to come - they were just happy to see the relatives that could make it. Teenagers and young adults probably do hate stuff like that, so I'd not hold it against them if they didn't attend.

Balloon Animal · Guru

I 100% agree. I invite my kids friends to their birthday parties. The only people I invite who don't have kids are their grandparents. I don't invite aunts and uncles without kids. If they wanted to come I would invite them and they could come, but I know they probably don't want to. I was willing to attend kids birthday parties before I had kids, but I am the rare exception. Most adults have no such interest.

I always felt sorry for kids that were only allowed to invite a couple friends but had to invite EVERYONE in the family. Because kids are going to have way more fun with their friends than at a family reunion and kids want to play with more than just their cousins. They want to play with their school friends and neighborhood friends and best friends.

ana · Senior Member

I agree BA. I think kids get gyped.

But my sisters do at least 2 parties. A family party and a friends party. I don't think we have missed one birthday for our nieces and nephews.

Forty-two · Guru

I don't have any family to invite to my kids' parties except my one sister and I spare her that torture.

Balloon Animal · Guru

The family party and the friend party is a good idea. I suggested that to someone I know who has a LARGE family with lots of in their 20s step sisters and aunts and uncles that want to come celebrate her kids but I don't think they are super thrilled about giving up a Saturday afternoon to go be around a ton of screaming kids running around at a petting zoo. Plus when she invites all her friends with kids and her daughter's friends then the family on top of that it is almost 60+ people. I told her she might want to start doing a family dinner birthday party on like a week night and then just do the party for the kids on a Saturday. A lot of those party venues don't have the room for a bunch of adults without kids to be standing around and they just kinda get in the way and I don't think they are super thrilled to be there either but feel like they have to show up.

Since I don't get along with my DH's family we don't even invite cousins to their parties. But we invite every other kid we know and their whole class sometimes and it ends up being like 30+ kids and they have a great time. They don't even know their cousins and even if we were on speaking terms at most we would only see them once or twice a year so it is not like they would be super close. They are much much closer to their classmates they see in school every day and their neighborhood friends and their playdate friends they see all the time and have known forever.