Invisapeeps 2.0

Cactus wrote:

---

 I thought that this somewhat minor controversy touched on some interesting issues. I've posted the links below, but basically what happened is that Chirlane McCray, the wife of NYC mayor Bill Deblasio, gave an interview to New York Magazine in  which she discussed, among other things, the difficulty she had adjusting to motherhood at the age of 40. She said that she had initial trouble spending so much time with the baby, giving up other things in her life and so on

The NY Post turned this into a headline asserting her confession of having been a "bad mom".

Granted this is the NY Post and we could expect no more, and when I first saw this it just seemed liked standard political BS and sensationalism, but I don't think it is totally irrelevant. Many women have conflicted feelings about and difficulties adjusting to motherhood but there is somewhat of a stigma around this. It bothers me that when a woman acknowledges these things she is labelled a "bad mom" and her disclosures, which I think many mothers could relate to, whether they work outside the home or not, and whatever their age when becoming mothers, are said to be "bound to horrify most moms".

 The New York Magazine article :

 http://nymag.com/news/features/chirlane-mccray-2014-5/

 

The NY post article :

http://nypost.com/2014/05/18/chirlane-mccray-didnt-want-to-spend-every-day-with-baby-chiara/

Summary on jezebel:

http://jezebel.com/the-new-york-post-calls-nyc-first-lady-a-bad-mom-1578560606

 

---

Fixed 'em for you.

As far as I'm concerned, the NY Post is only good for lining birdcages.

I think how some people judge a good mom versus a bad mom is stupid. Some moms in particular those that don't work look at being a mom as a job. So when I think of my job there are many days where I don't want to do my job or even hate it, it does not make me bad at it. I have too many patents, awards and millions of dollars in sales to tell me otherwise just like my kids are too successful for me to be convinced I am a bad mom.

A few days ago BA suggested people may think I was a bad mom because I have someone else drive them around. "Cart them around" I think was the term used. I think that is like saying the builder for my home is lousy because he had someone paint the rooms or the gourmet chef is lousy because he did not grow his vegetables himself. Like them I hire people to do the menial stuff I have no time or interest in doing.

-- Edited by Forty-two on Wednesday 21st of May 2014 11:04:53 AM

I agree with you also, 42. Motherhood is not one-size-fits -all and I think mothers that don't fit a mold tend to get criticized. And there are things many if not most moms probably think and feel and don't feel comfortable expressing because of how much judgment it brings.
I don't think parents who drive their kids around and do a lot for them are slaves to them or necessarily catering to them though.

Ana I am trying to get my oldest kid to understand that. She doesn't understand that I am happy to drive her to work but not drive her and her buddies to three different houses after work.

There is no shame in admitting you can be worn out or overwhelmed or frustrated or need a break when you are a mom. Just like any other thing really. Being a mother is hard. We should support each other.

There can be a line where you cross it into the complaining too much territory but I doubt she crossed that line yet.

Evil Stepmother wrote:

---

Being a mother would be very rewarding, but spending all one's time with an infant wiping up drool and changing diapers would not be. It's a shame that these women who are honestly expressing their feelings are criticized.

---

 +1000