Invisapeeps 2.0

Forty-two · Guru

Another AP story

OpheliaDev1 · Guru

Wow, jeeze. I can see how getting an AP could be very hit-or-miss. Essentially, these are young people who want to see the US. Some are mature and responsible, others not.

But I've heard some horror stories from APs as well.

ana · Senior Member

Hot women have that issue all over the world. Now the only thing you can watch our for is the Hot-to-trot part. I would want an AP with some decorum.

Forty-two · Guru

I am sure we all agreed it has been a burden being hot

Aurora · Senior Member

How did you decide on your AP?

OpheliaDev1 · Guru

It's the "hot to trotness" that would bother me. If my potential au pair (or nanny), comes to the interview looking boob-tastic and hot to trot, then I wouldn't hire her. Heck, I wouldn't hire her for anything but a stripper or a Hooter's waitress.

Forty-two · Guru

Aurora wrote:
How did you decide on your AP?

We interview one this weekend. One of the criteria my kids have is that she must be goodlooking

OpheliaDev1 · Guru

LOL. Why do your kids want a "good looking" au pair?

If I were a parent, I'd be shooting for the plainest one!

Cactus · Senior Member

That reminds me of Mary Poppins... "rosy cheeks, no warts" and all that.

Forty-two · Guru

Because they have recognized beauty bias and admit that they subscribe to it. They have also asked for a slim AP because the last one eats up all over their food and drinks a gallon of OJ every other day

ana · Senior Member

Forty-two wrote:
I am sure we all agreed it has been a burden being hot

Rofl.

It's been far too many years since I have been hot!

ana · Senior Member

Forty-two wrote:
Because they have recognized beauty bias and admit that they subscribe to it. They have also asked for a slim AP because the last one eats up all over their food and drinks a gallon of OJ every other day

Lots of skinny people eat a tonne of food!

I thought your current AP hung around in a bikini all the time? I just assumed she was slim.....

Maybe you shoot for cute but not hot?

-- Edited by ana on Thursday 22nd of May 2014 12:57:12 PM

Cactus · Senior Member

Yes, and not all heavier people eat a lot.

Forty-two · Guru

Cactus and Ana yes I know I know in regards to my generalizations about size and food consumption.

And Ana regarding the bikini yes she sits around in one according to my kid.

ana · Senior Member

Are they complaining or are they okay with it?

Forty-two · Guru

Complaining it was not a pleasent thing to see

ana · Senior Member

Oh! I get it now.

You got yourself a real winner didn't you 42?

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

"hot" is not such a big issue... "to trot" is the problem in the equation.

That's how it appears to me anyway.

Evil Stepmother · Guru

RichardInTN wrote:
"hot" is not such a big issue... "to trot" is the problem in the equation.

That's how it appears to me anyway.

That made me laugh out loud and choke on my tea! So we have a job description: Self starter, doesn't eat all the good leftovers, looks good in a bikini, but doesn't hit on husband or friends' husbands. Surely there is one college age girl out there that can do all that. You may have to talk to a lot of girls, but you'll find her.

RichardInTN · I believe in I.D.I.C.

Happy for the LOL... sorry about the tea choking.

Balloon Animal · Guru

I mean I think they are entitled to a social life as far as they can date on their off times I would think. But maybe have enough class not to date your friends. But that friend that asked her out is just as much to blame. He was not very classy either.

-- Edited by Balloon Animal on Thursday 22nd of May 2014 10:28:57 PM

Forty-two · Guru

Evil Stepmother wrote:
RichardInTN wrote:
"hot" is not such a big issue... "to trot" is the problem in the equation.

That's how it appears to me anyway.
That made me laugh out loud and choke on my tea! So we have a job description: Self starter, doesn't eat all the good leftovers, looks good in a bikini, but doesn't hit on husband or friends' husbands. Surely there is one college age girl out there that can do all that. You may have to talk to a lot of girls, but you'll find her.

It's not about eating the leftovers it's about eating and drinking everything or more than 2000 (hell or even 2500) calories a day.

Forty-two · Guru

Balloon Animal wrote:
I mean I think they are entitled to a social life as far as they can date on their off times I would think. But maybe have enough class not to date your friends. But that friend that asked her out is just as much to blame. He was not very classy either.

-- Edited by Balloon Animal on Thursday 22nd of May 2014 10:28:57 PM

She is not to blame AT ALL for that he is.

ana · Senior Member

I have a colleague who is very slim and when I was counting calories, she asked me to calculate hers. She was well over 2500 calories per day.

2000 is normal for women and 2400 is normal for men. For a young active woman that is not too much to eat.

iluvsuomi1989 · Senior Member

Forty-two wrote:
Aurora wrote:
How did you decide on your AP?
We interview one this weekend. One of the criteria my kids have is that she must be goodlooking

Your kids sound just as insensitive and bigoted as you are. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You're so concerned that your kids grow up "classy" and that's just about the least classiest attitude you could be raising them with. What if your kids said, "We don't want any Jews or Blacks (and yes, I am aware that two of your children are Black and that you yourself are a person of color) or people with handicaps." Yet, you apparently think it's ok to raise them to have other prejudices, rather than raise them to accept people based on their merits.

If beauty is only skin deep, then you're just about the ugliest poster on this board.

And with that, I am through with this post and with this board.

Forty-two · Guru

It certainly is a teachable moment for them. They should learn that they could be discriminated against because of their appearance. So we will see how it goes.

Balloon Animal · Guru

iluvsuomi1989 wrote:
Forty-two wrote:
Aurora wrote:
How did you decide on your AP?
We interview one this weekend. One of the criteria my kids have is that she must be goodlooking
Your kids sound just as insensitive and bigoted as you are. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You're so concerned that your kids grow up "classy" and that's just about the least classiest attitude you could be raising them with. What if your kids said, "We don't want any Jews or Blacks (and yes, I am aware that two of your children are Black and that you yourself are a person of color) or people with handicaps." Yet, you apparently think it's ok to raise them to have other prejudices, rather than raise them to accept people based on their merits.
If beauty is only skin deep, then you're just about the ugliest poster on this board.
And with that, I am through with this post and with this board.

Tell us what you really think

Forty-two · Guru

I am sorry to see iluv go. I always liked her but clearly the feeling wasn't mutual. But I have to think something else is going on because for someone to leave the board because a poster said her kids want a pretty AP doesn't make a darned bit of sense

OpheliaDev1 · Guru

Forty-two wrote:
It certainly is a teachable moment for them. They should learn that they could be discriminated against because of their appearance. So we will see how it goes.

Ilovesuomi does make a good point. Did you actually speak to them about make such mean comments, and about valuing appearence over character? Granted, it doesn't sound like this AP had much character, but the fact that they said they didn't want to look at her in her bikini because she was fat is a pretty ugly thing to say. Would a rude, lazy, size 2 AP with big tits be okay with them?

Forty-two · Guru

Of course rude and lazy would not be acceptable for anyone. I would think that goes without saying.

winds55 · Guru

Forty-two wrote:
I am sorry to see iluv go. I always liked her but clearly the feeling wasn't mutual. But I have to think something else is going on because for someone to leave the board because a poster said her kids want a pretty AP doesn't make a darned bit of sense

My guess is her tolerance for hypocrisy and bigotry is a lot lower than mine.

OpheliaDev1 · Guru

42, I don't think you've said - did you actually speak to your kids about their remarks, and about valuing appearence over character, etc? I'd be pretty disturbed if my kids said they wanted a pretty/slim AP. That's just not okay.

Forty-two · Guru

OD I didn't address all of your points.

The kids didn't make any mean comments to the AP.

Character is a given so do we talk about it if people are lacking in it. In regards to the character of the kid she feels bad that she has a beauty bias and yet she knows it is reality and by her recognizing she has she needs to understand others do as well and it is not just beauty it can be race size etc.

i think actually to iluvs point if the aP was a nice person my kid wouldnt think of her appearance. Many people who are unfortunate looking have lovely personalities and they are perceived as being prettier than they are because of it. And vice versa

-- Edited by Forty-two on Friday 23rd of May 2014 11:40:59 AM

Forty-two · Guru

OD the pretty thing is kind of a joke because all of the kids wanted to come over our house when we had a drop dead gorgeous AP. The other kids are begging me to try to get her back. Hell my guy friends would come over to see her. And she was the sweetest girl ever

OpheliaDev1 · Guru

Okay, in that context it makes a little more sense.

Cactus · Senior Member

42, how much say are you giving the kids in the selection process?

I would also be very sorry to see Suomi go. I like her and appreciate her perspective on the board.

Forty-two · Guru

Well the process we went for this time was different than before.

We excluded Holland & Germany because of food and as a culture too rigid.

So we started with countries with good food.

Then I picked videos of women that I liked and I let my oldest daughter select who we interview this weekend by Skype.

We all will interview her.

If my oldest daughter doesn't like her she will not be hired

-- Edited by Forty-two on Saturday 24th of May 2014 03:52:48 AM

flan327 · Senior Member

Forty-two wrote:
I am sorry to see iluv go. I always liked her but clearly the feeling wasn't mutual. But I have to think something else is going on because for someone to leave the board because a poster said her kids want a pretty AP doesn't make a darned bit of sense

That's my opinion as well, 42.

flan

Lady Paint · Horse Junky. Dog Flunky.

Forty-two wrote:
I am sorry to see iluv go. I always liked her but clearly the feeling wasn't mutual. But I have to think something else is going on because for someone to leave the board because a poster said her kids want a pretty AP doesn't make a darned bit of sense

Why would you think that something else is going on? It appears that you left the zeta board for no good reason that anybody could figure out anyway. So why not leave because a poster pisses you off?

Forty-two · Guru

The difference is when I left I just left I did not go out on a personal attack rant on some minor issue. I figure something else is wrong if a teen wanting to have a pretty AP pisses a poster off to go on a personal attack and quit the board. But meh that's just me. Then I see the "bigot" rant on the other board when people were posting about a $1.6 million house in Camden, NJ it makes me think something else is going on because Iluv was always so lovely, rational, calm.

-- Edited by Forty-two on Sunday 25th of May 2014 08:42:37 AM

flan327 · Senior Member

Teens are honest; of course "pretty" would be something they'd mention.

If the "other board" is a good fit for you, that's hunky dorey...

flan

Forty-two · Guru

Flan I hear you. For teens to want a hot AP so that all of the teen boys will come to your house is not a big stretch and it is hardly a serious matter in the development and parenting of kids. Or maybe it is, maybe I should have told my kids you are shallow fvcks for wanting to have a hot AP so when you are hanging out with her it will make you look cool. Of the parenting lessons to teach this is just not my priority it ranks on the list of I don't give a fvck, particularly since my kid recognizes it is a bad way of thinking.

That said, we had our interview yesterday and we hope we get the new girl she is absolutely lovely (I am not talking about her appearance) she is a very sweet girl. She mentioned her concern about entering a home with teens and I told her I understand that and let her talk to DD1 I also told her that if DD1 didn't like her she would not be Skyping with me at that time. I told her if she wants a true American experience she will be better suited to get that through the tutelage of a class officer, volunteering, kid that will be a junior in high school-that she will have to drive around, than she will get from me. She has to interview a few more families but I think and hope she will pick us.

-- Edited by Forty-two on Sunday 25th of May 2014 10:17:52 AM

flan327 · Senior Member

Sounds like a good one, 42!

flan

Forty-two · Guru

I am very very concerned she wants to talk to my current AP....

Lady Paint · Horse Junky. Dog Flunky.

Forty-two wrote:
I am very very concerned she wants to talk to my current AP....

Why?

Balloon Animal · Guru

Lady Paint wrote:
Forty-two wrote:
I am sorry to see iluv go. I always liked her but clearly the feeling wasn't mutual. But I have to think something else is going on because for someone to leave the board because a poster said her kids want a pretty AP doesn't make a darned bit of sense
Why would you think that something else is going on? It appears that you left the zeta board for no good reason that anybody could figure out anyway. So why not leave because a poster pisses you off?

Not trying to speak for 42, but she did have a reason for leaving the other board. She just chose to keep that reason private and did not feel the need to make a big to do and flounce announcement. Which is classy and what I would expect from her. She is not the emotional hysterical type.

And I like iluv personally, but she has done the same to me before where she gets super offended super easily and then flounces or says she is done with you as a poster. So this to me is kind of her MO. But again, I liked her so that is why it took me by such shock when she did it.

Balloon Animal · Guru

Forty-two wrote:
I am very very concerned she wants to talk to my current AP....

Well she probably wants to hear what she has to say much like when your prospective employer wants to speak to your last employer. If you are worried she is going to say bad things about you, you might want to prep the new AP first and tell her about some of the issues with the last AP and why she did not work out. Sometimes it might sound better coming from you so she can hear both sides of the story.