I am at a loss what to do. Robot is 7 now and still does not act safe in parking lots. I try to avoid doing errands with him due to this and with school going on I can. But it is Summer now and I have to take him to do most errands and I forgot how hard it is! Today we were on the way out of Aldi and I had a cart full of groceries and was trying to dig my keys out of my purse and the kids were going over to their respective doors to get ready to get in. Robot did that but then just jumped out from behind the car right in the way of a speeding car!!! I screamed at him to stop! It was a close call. I cannot hold his hand every second but I guess I need to try to. When he was a baby you know I kept him in a stroller or the cart seat. He is really too big for that now. So he is walking and I tell him to hold onto the cart and he does most of the time and then he does something like that.
It is part of his autism that they won't always realize or see dangers and he stims by jumping around and spinning and dancing. And unfortunately he cannot really always control stimming. They have to do it to desensory themselves. But then he stims right out in front of a car! Scares the ever loving crap out of me. I am about to get another kid leash and make him wear it. I have to have my hands free sometimes and can't always hold onto him with a death grip. I had one I used on him when he was little but it got thrown away. I might have to get another one. I would prefer not to have to do that with him because it will get comments and stares and embarrass us but I also don't want a flat pancake little boy.
I thought about maybe getting one of those magnets you put on the car with a hand print and you tell him to put their hand on the print and not move. I might try that. And I guess I need to hold onto him better. He will do well for awhile so I drop my guard a bit and then he does something like this. I am not sure if he is completely conscious of it. I do have the other kids watch out for him but they are not always there or doing their own thing and so that is not the best solution. Ugh.
Here is the thing I was talking about-http://www.parkingpalmagnet.com/
I don't know what stimming is, but I had a 'know no danger' kid. If visual reminders help him follow instructions, I'd get a hand print magnet for the car and keep another one in my bag to put on the shopping cart. I'd avoid the leash if possible because he could still jump around and you don't want to be yanking him back and having him tumble in front of a car or another cart.
(I've heard that a lot of car magnets will mess up the paint if left on for a long time, so you might want to just put it on when you get to the parking lot and take it off after your final stop.)
thanks winds. I don't really car about the car getting messed up. It is already pretty scratched! haha Good tip though! He is good at like direct rule following so maybe this will help.
I've been thinking about getting one of those for DS. He just turned 5. Usually I can leave him in the big part of the cart, or go shopping at a time that DH and I can go or leave the kids at home and only one of us go, but sometimes it's unavoidable. Ds likes to walk the lines marking the parking spaces. We use a leash backpack if we have to, but I don't like it. Hemdoes, though.
Can you try to always have something he is responsible for that needs to be put in the car right away? Maybe like his own little shopping bag with a purchase just for him that he needs to hold and protect and keep safe on the way to the car until he is hooked in. Perhaps the focusing on that one task could be simpler than a general "be careful" directive that might be easily forgotten. Not sure how his particular autism manifests, but my friend's son was better about keeping beloved objects safe than keeping himself safe.
My kids have a "hand ON THE CAR" rule and heaven help them if they let go! I've been doing that for a few years before I saw the decals. Should have patented it!
yeah stimming can be many things. For a lot it is hand flapping or rocking. Robot actually has unusual ones like grimacing (which he has mostly out grown, used to be much worse) or he does this specific dance that involves like a jump then a squat and then a facial grimace and then his hands go out like jazz hands. It is super cute if you actually see it. Most people love it. He does it when he is excited. Like he cannot contain his happiness and excitement and has to show it with his body. He used to sometimes get so happy he would like get stuck in that dance and do it for like 10 minutes straight. Now he just does it when he is really happy and I think over time he will probably stop doing it altogether. Like it is slowly going away. Which I guess is good but it is kinda one of those things you will always remember kinda fondly.
he also is just a natural bouncer like Tigger. He jumps around a lot. Thus why he jumped out in front of that car today. I think he was just excited or burning energy. who knows but it almost got him hit by a car. I let him look at the parking lot pals and he picked out the space one and I ordered it. So hopefully that might help.
If he gets overstimulated in like not a good way or just in general, he is more prone to go off in a corner and spin in circles and close his eyes and kinda go off in his own little world. That one is a calming one. He is shutting out the sensory stuff to get control of himself.
Then his one other one is the yum yum dance as we call it. He is also doing this one less and less and time goes on. It started out as a baby he would be eating and if he enjoyed what he was eating he would get up and spin and close his eyes and sway and look like nirvana ish. Now he will kinda just close his eyes and sway in his seat and put his hands up if he is really enjoying his food. He also hums.
While never taking him with you solves the problem in the short term, it's just kicking the can down the road, I think. Would it be possible to take him on even more errands, just him, so he can practice? Maybe you can develop a routine where he takes a bag, places it in the car, then buckles himself in or something?
usually I have all the kids with me unless Merida or Hip Hop is staying the night at a friend's house. But maybe instead of just leaving them all at home with DH and doing errands alone in the evening which I was thinking about, I could just leave the older ones with him and bring Robot. We are going to try the parking pal thing and I am optimistic about it. He does good with concrete rules like place your hand on the magnet and don't move. He does less good with abstract rules like watch out for cars. If that makes sense.
I am worried someone is going to steal the car magnets off the car while we are in a building. I mean you would have to be a big jerk to do something like that, but people are lame sometimes. They are not cheap at $9 a pop so hopefully no one steals it.
