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FRAED


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DH got a text this morning telling him that the bachelor party for a guy he works with is this Friday - at a strip club.

I asked him if he's going to go. He said he's not sure - has to see what he's got left from his check after bills and putting cash aside for a picnic next week. Plus he doesn't want to drink & drive.

I told him to find out who is going that doesn't drink (a few guys he works with don't drink, but that doesn't mean they don't like seeing naked women) and ask if he can go with them, and put some cash aside and go and have fun.

He just told me that he mentioned the party to another guy he works with who said he probably won't go because he's going to see his kids this weekend (they live in another state) and "If Donna (his fiancee) finds out it's at as trip club, she won't let me go."

DH said "FRAED told me to go" and the other guy was shocked and thinks I'm cool.

So - am I strange for not having a problem with my husband going to a strip club for a bachelor party?



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dqm either


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It be that the other wife is concerned about finances. Gas and kids are expensive. If I had stepkids in another state I wouldn't be pleased if my husband was giving money to strippers.

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EmmDee


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I think nowadays it is probably getting closer to 50-50 on those who are ok with it and those who would be enraged/jealous/negative reaction. I would most likely be ok with it if I was in a trusting/healthy relationship. I know first hand that preventing a SO from doing something that is harmless only causes problems in the relationship.

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FRAED


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dqm either wrote:

It be that the other wife is concerned about finances. Gas and kids are expensive. If I had stepkids in another state I wouldn't be pleased if my husband was giving money to strippers.

They aren't married yet. And I'm honestly not sure if they live together. They did, then they broke up, then got back together but didn't live together, now they're engaged, but I haven't heard if they are or are not living together again.

I could see her being upset about the money situation if this was a habit, but it's a bachelor party.

I wouldn't be okay with my DH going to a strip club on a regular basis. But for a party it doesn't bother me.



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kapper


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My Dh knows could go if he wants to but he never does. I am secretly glad that he would rather see me nekid for free than to pay a stranger to see them nekid.

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FRAED


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EmmDee wrote:

I think nowadays it is probably getting closer to 50-50 on those who are ok with it and those who would be enraged/jealous/negative reaction. I would most likely be ok with it if I was in a trusting/healthy relationship. I know first hand that preventing a SO from doing something that is harmless only causes problems in the relationship.

 This is me. I trust my DH. He has never given me a reason to not trust him.

And it's for a party, not a weekly night out for him. He rarely goes any where without me and if he does it's a charity bike ride that I normally go on, but sometimes I'm just not in the mood.



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Desdenova


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I'm the same way as you Fraed, I don't have a problem with DH going out with a couple of friends to a bachelors party at a strip club. I've met a couple of women that are appalled by the way I think.

DH knows his own limits and I trust him, also he knows that the only thing that would made me upset would be if he had been touching someone else, as far as I know they are not allowed to touch the girls at those places so it's ok. And the plus for me would be that once he gets home he would be hot and ready for me LOL.

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FRAED


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kapper wrote:

My Dh knows could go if he wants to but he never does. I am secretly glad that he would rather see me nekid for free than to pay a stranger to see them nekid.

 After I told him he should go this morning, he wanted to see me nekid. biggrin

The idea of him going to a strip club has never come up before this morning, so I think he was a little nervous bringing it up because he wasn't sure how I'd react. I surprised him. LOL!



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FRAED


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Desdenova wrote:

I'm the same way as you Fraed, I don't have a problem with DH going out with a couple of friends to a bachelors party at a strip club. I've met a couple of women that are appalled by the way I think.

DH knows his own limits and I trust him, also he knows that the only thing that would made me upset would be if he had been touching someone else, as far as I know they are not allowed to touch the girls at those places so it's ok. And the plus for me would be that once he gets home he would be hot and ready for me LOL.

 I'm pretty sure they don't allow the men to touch the dancers either. This place where the bachelor party is going to be is supposedly a "classy" place. confuse Not a raunchy vomit on the floor type of place.

LOL! I'm not against him being hot & ready for me afterwards.



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dqm either


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Being engaged isn't just casual dating though. When you're engaged the committment to behave like a spouse is already there. You just haven't had the ceremony yet. In that respect I don't see much difference between being married and being engaged.

If she has a problem with it as a fiance she SHOULD say something now. It makes no sense for her to pretend that it's ok now and then spring it on him after the wedding. He clearly knows this and is still willing to marry her. The only problem I anticipate is if he tries to be dishonest about it.



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Evil Stepmother


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Add me to the group that says if DH wants to go to a nice strip club with friends and it's within our budget, he should go and have fun. I trust mine to behave appropriately too. By that I mean, don't drink and drive and come home frisky.

Question:
If they are not supposed to touch the girls, what do they do with the money? I've never been to one.

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FRAED


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dqm either wrote:

Being engaged isn't just casual dating though. When you're engaged the committment to behave like a spouse is already there. You just haven't had the ceremony yet. In that respect I don't see much difference between being married and being engaged.

If she has a problem with it as a fiance she SHOULD say something now. It makes no sense for her to pretend that it's ok now and then spring it on him after the wedding. He clearly knows this and is still willing to marry her. The only problem I anticipate is if he tries to be dishonest about it.

 I agree that being engaged isn't casual dating.
In this couple's case, I'm not sure if her not being comfortable with him going to a strip club is based on him or her ex-husband - I've heard he wasn't the most honest of husbands.

I also doubt he'd go and not tell her first. Sounded to me like he didn't plan on going because he knows she won't like it.



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FRAED


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Evil Stepmother wrote:

Question:
If they are not supposed to touch the girls, what do they do with the money? I've never been to one.

 LOL! I wondered that too! Is it like it is in the movies - shove the dollar in her g-string or something else? Maybe they can do that, but not get too touchy feely?
If DH goes I'll make sure to find out and report back. hmm



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Mischa


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I'm fine with my SO going to a strip club. Hell, I go to them without him!

As to your question about the money, often you put the dollar down on the counter and they dance in your face and pick it up after a mintue or two (various methods of them picking it up!).

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FRAED


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Mischa wrote:

I'm fine with my SO going to a strip club. Hell, I go to them without him!

As to your question about the money, often you put the dollar down on the counter and they dance in your face and pick it up after a mintue or two (various methods of them picking it up!).

 Ah!

Thanks.



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EmmDee


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yay, I just learned something today. I did not know how they got the money either.

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RichardInTN


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Most of the strip clubs I've been to, to give the girl the money, the person paying her would (first let her see how much it was, then) fold it in half length ways so it was a long folded piece of paper, and then she would grab her garter or g-string on the side and pull it out far enough to slip the bill in, then she'd snap it back and the person paying her would let go of the bill.

As to the OP: FRAED, you ARE "the cool wife", and you also trust your husband (both good things in my opinion). Like you said, it's not like he's blowing the family mortgage there every week... it's a special occasion.

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RichardInTN


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I think I'll make a spin-off...

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FRAED


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Thanks, Richard (for saying I'm cool - LOL!)

The description you gave of how they give the money is how DH said he thinks its done.


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