One of my favorite things to do is sit, quietly engaged in a solo activity and listen to my kids talk to each other. Sometimes they say the funniest stuff!
Tonight a conversation between #3 and #4
-I never did figure out that riddle. Which comes first the chicken or the egg? -Well, we're Christians so the answer is easy. It's the chicken. -What's the answer if you're not Christian? -I think it's probably still the chicken.
edited because the filter didn't like my potty mouth. Share your kid logic here.
-- Edited by dqm either on Tuesday 24th of July 2012 03:44:48 AM
Setting. Me watching a cartoon with #4. I forget the name of the cartoon but it's got little fairies in it and they're supposed to be doing something important but the one fairy keeps messing stuff up.
Scene: the trouble making fairy is in a nest with a baby bird and I think she's supposed to be babysitting or teaching it to fly or something. Anyway there's a big hunting type bird in the sky and you can tell something bad is about to happen so I say:
-pshh, that fairy needs supervision!
And my daughter says super vision wouldn't help Mom, she doesn't know what kind of bird it is. And I say -well yeah that's why she needs supervision. If someone was watching her they could teach her the stuff she needs to know. Daughter: Watching her? Me: Yeah supervising her. Daughter: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH supervision I thought you said Super Vision. Like if she could see better then she'd know it was a hawk and not leave the nest.
This one goes way back but I still tease them about it to this day.
#4 was in 2nd grade and she was studying compound words for a spelling test. So she asks #3 who was 10 at the time
-What's a house wife? (said as two words) And #3 with all her years of wisdom and experience answers:
Well, when a guy goes to get married he looks for a lady that already has a house. Those are the best kind. If you're a guy you can choose a regular wife or a house wife. That's why you have to have a house before you get married.
#3 explaining to my bff where babies come from. She was not quite five years old when she gave this speech and she had to remove her thumb from her mouth to deliver it.
-I know where babies come from. -You do? -Yep, want me tell you? -Sure -Well the Daddy wants the Mommy and the Mommy wants the baby. So the Daddy has to catch the Mommy and get her fat with the baby so she won't leave. But then the baby gets out and the Mommy might leave so he has to give her another one. Every time she starts to leave he has to give her another baby until she has too many to get away. -Are you sure that's how it works? -Yep isn't that how you got your baby? -um no. -well how'd you get it? -well, I got the baby from the Daddy cuz I thought he was gonna stay but he ran far away. -I don't think that's how it works.
This was my younger sister when she was about 3 ~ 4. Mom had a rule about not writing/drawing/painting in the walls, my sister always followed the rule, then one day my mom found her drawing in the floor with crayons.
My mom asked her what was she doing and she said: Mommy you said we couldn't draw on the walls, you never said anything about the floors, and I didn't had any paper. My mom changed the rule to you can't writing/drawing/painting in any other thing than paper.
This doesn't translate well into a story but when #3 was learning to talk you could tell that she was trying to grasp the context of past tense.
It was SOOOOO cute because the further something happened in the past the more D's she'd put on on it.
It's hard to explain but if we were going to the store she'd say: We go to da store. If we went to the store she'd say: We go'ed to da store. If we went to the sotre yesterday she'd say: We go'ded to da store.
If we went somewhere a long time ago she'd just keep adding D's until she felt there were enough to convey that it happened a long time ago.
Along the same lines. Each of my kids did this and I always loved this phase.
Right around age 3 usually when they were learning concepts but hadn't mastered them yet.
-We go'ed to da store and Uncle buy'd me da gorrilla. - Awww, your Uncle bought you a gorrilla? When did you go to the store? . -Thursday
I admit it's not that funny when you tell it but the funny part is no matter what day it happened if you ask a when question the answer was always Thursday and it was always so matter of fact and proud because she knew Thursday was a real answer to a "when" question. Plus Thursday was just the right amount of difficulty to say. I mean babies can say Monday that's too easy. But Saturday, can't say it happened Saturday cuz I can't even pronounce it. But Thursday, yep. That's perfect.
Kindergarten evaluations are going on and my friends are sharing their stories. Reminds me of when #3 was having her interview and one of the questions was:
What would you do if you walked into a room and there were no lights on? - I would ask my Daddy did he pay the bill.
I'm still laughing my ass off over that one! My kids crack me up.
Background, we went to the zoo today and on the way back we passed a house that belonged to my grandma. I pointed it out to the kids. This led to a discussion about our family. The kids wanted to know who their grandma (my mom) was married to. I reminded them about thier grandpa (my dad) who had taken the dogs when we moved. They asked if they were divorced and I told them yes.
Cue the funny part.
Joey: Are you and Papa going to get divorced? Me: Well sometimes people change and don't want to stay together, but I don't think that is going to happen. Joey: Good, because I don't want an evil step-mom. You know they are evil, right!?! Me: *wonders why boy thinks step moms are evil- wait- wonders about stepdads* Asks boy about step dads. Joey: We wouldn't have a step dad. You can't get married... you have to take care of us. Me:
My daughter told me that God had a name and it was Howard. I said how do you know his name. She said everyone does, haven't you heard "Our father who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name". It made perfect sense to her...lol
-- Edited by kapper on Wednesday 1st of August 2012 02:05:24 PM
__________________
Make up your mind to be happy and happiness usually comes your way.
I was telling DH about the above story last night and he told me one. He was working on the van and had it up on the jack, he put a jack stand under too. Joey was watching and asked what it was and why he needed it. DH told him it would hold up the van if the jack got knocked down, it would keep the van from falling and killing him. Joey said that was good, he didn't want him to die because he didn't want a step dad. They are evil.
I guess I only get to get remarried if DH dies. He never told me this was an option.
My kids know better than to turn on video games if their chores are not done. Mamma don't play. But one day I walk in the door and lo' and behold #4 is blantantly playing video games with a strainer full of dishes on the kitchen counter.
The anger rises up in me but before I go off I walk over to the chore chart straight to her name and:
Me:*ahem #4 first, middle and last name! #4 age 7: Yes Mommy. Me: your chores are NOT complete. The dishes aren't done! #4: Mommy the dishes are done, those ones are still wet. Me: Miss first name, middle name, did it never occur to you to get a dish rag and dry the dishes? In all sincerity my daughter looks me in the face and says: That's the way they used to do it in the olden days Mom. You know, before they invented evaporation. These days you can just let the dishes dry by themselves while you do something else. It's a good thing.
No one has ever dried a dish in my house from that day forward. Everytime I see that rack of dishes on the counter I thank God for inventing evaporation in my lifetime.
this phase. 
. He never told me this was an option.