Father God please put your hand over me and calm me. Keep me Lord from saying nasty and hurtful things I pray through the name of your son Jesus. Aaaaaaaagh! I prayed in earnest but I'm unloading here because I can not sit on my hands. That is just asking too much.
I just received a nasty message from my cousin. It wasn't sent to me personally but all of her posts show up in my feed because Why do you think? That's right-because she's my cousin and I love her and I want to know what's going on in her life. I pay attention, I like, I comment, I update her. In short; I try to be a good cousin. I WISH I could copy/paste the letter she just wrote. In short the letter outlines a multitude of hardships she's gone through recently then gives a big eff U to everyone for not helping her and basically says 'if you can't show up in tragic times don't show up when things are good'
Truth be told I haven't seen my cousin since 2007. She lives in FL and I live in CA but the things that she's been through are things that you friggin ASK FOR HELP! Even if the only thing I could do was pray that would have been better than nothing. They were homeless for a few days and then no electric in 90+ degree temps plus a whole bunch of other crap. I'm so angry right now.
My cousin has three small babies a young child and two step kids. If they needed help we could have taken some of the kids. I would have loved for them to come here for the summer. And then she and her husband could have got their sh!t together. Or at the very least not had SIX kids to worry about while they're going through all this. I can't believe her! And her attitude is almost unforgiveable. Like people were supposed to read her frikken mind and deduce from her umpteen STUPID cryptic emails that our baby cousins were in danger. Grrrrrrraaaaaaagggghhhh! No refrigeration, no air conditioning, no ROOF over their heads for a few days! That is so unexceptable. If you need help you have to ask. That's what family is for. If you got this and you don't need help that's ok too but don't lash out after the fact and tell us how the children suffered when it's too late to do anything about it. All that does is piss people off after the fact. Now excuse me while I go pray for this child.
-- Edited by Aardvark on Friday 27th of July 2012 07:34:21 PM
I'm a skeptic but I wonder if the situation was really as bad as she is saying or if she is exaggerating. I hope it is the latter. I just wish people would not use fb to air out things like that. I guess it is easy to say that because I have this community that I can come to and vent when I feel like I don't have someone irl available.
I am sorry she is laying this guilt trip on her family. You seem very family oriented in all of your posts and I have no doubt that you would have tried to help if you were given the opportunity. *HUGS*
I am sorry dqm. Maybe after you calm down you can message her. Tell her you read her post and found out she is in trouble. Ask her if she needs you to take the kids for a little while. Then slip something in about why she didn't message you to let you know what was going on and that she needed help. Be kind and helpful but put it back on her. You are not a mind reader, certainly not from states away. There is no way to know these things if no one tells you. I think she was probably talking about family in her area, they most likely knew what was going on and it doesn't sound like they were much help.
I thought this was going to be about you wanting to use your one free smack down and missing it.
Oh my, sorry for that jumbled mess of an op. I forgot that I have no formatting when I start a thread. That post is a mess but in a way it reflects how I felt. That all came spilling out.
One my cousin's friends told her "can't help if you don't know there's a problem" to which cousin replied "some things shouldn't have to be said."
At first I disagreed with cousin but after getting the rest of the story I feel better. By that I mean there was nothing I could have done but pray and she wasn't able to ask for my prayers during the time she needed them.
Story: Her husband was an assistant pastor and he got a promotion to getting his own church. Smaller church so no raise but the opportunity to grow the congregation. His old job came with housing. New job comes with housing but no assistant. They needed to get there quickly because the previous pastor already left.
So they sold/gave away/packed all their stuff and their kids and moved -- part of this is what she was hurt about because her congregation didn't come help her when they knew she was moving and she just had a baby. But she got it all done and they left. Their van broke down on the way to their new home and after closing out all their old accounts, renting the truck and moving expenses, gas and food they had to choose between getting a motel and getting the van fixed. So they got the van fixed and slept ????????
That took two days and one night.
When they got to the new church the house wasn't clean, didn't have any appliances and there was no electricity.
So she was also very hurt by her new congregation because she felt that they knew she was coming and someone should have welcomed her. When they left their old home they left the fridge, stove, dishwasher, washer and dryer. All those things came with the associate pastors unit. The new place is a house and they were happy to move because they have a big family but for the first two days they had no electricity and I don't know how long they went without a fridge?
The previous pastor and his wife are in the process of divorcing and the wife took all the appliances because she had upgraded them from the originals and she considered them hers.
I guess everything is settled now but I feel sorry for this congregation that they lost their old pastor and the new one has an unhappy wife.
I am glad you at least got it all sorted out. It does sound like she had an awful time of it but I am glad it wasn't you letting her down. I hope it all gets better for her because she's had enough with a new baby and moving, not to mention the other bad stuff.
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Make up your mind to be happy and happiness usually comes your way.
That's cool. I didn't know you could do that. That all came spilling out of me in a rage. I forgot about my posting limitations. Hopefully I will have my computer back before Tuesday. My friend that's fixing it has to go into the hospital.
For some strange reason when I'm postingfrom my nook it will not let me put paragraphs in unless it's a quick reply. If I start tbe thread or if I quote someone I'm limited.
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