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Post Info TOPIC: So, She's Back


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So, She's Back
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The Unemployed Friend that spends like she's working.....

She and her Husband (who doesn't seem to get that their income has been halved) went to a board-gaming convention for five days (instead of a whole week).  Now she's tired and depressed and sorry they stayed as long as they did.  She only won one game in the five days she was there and they (go figure) spent too much money.

Apparently, she spent yesterday sitting around in her nightgown, feeling sorry for herself.  Because she didn't win any games.  Though she was congratulating herself on not behaving like one of the other participants, who after losing some game stormed out of the room screaming obscenities at everyone she'd played with.   omg.gif

I'm having a difficult time feeling any sympathy for her.



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I am always right, unless I am wrong.

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Are you sure this is a FRIEND?

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Make up your mind to be happy and happiness usually comes your way.



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It's getting to the point I'm wondering. The constant 'poor, poor pitiful me' is really wearing. I'm in the same situation -- without the Free-Spending Husband -- and I hope I'm not whining constantly!

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Your brains...they're delicious.

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It almost seems like she's hoping you'll give her a handout or something...hmmm......

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Well, I have no handouts to give. I'm also job-hunting and on unemployment. And I don't have a spouse that is employed. Even if the knucklehead is spending money like water. Their financial mess is their own doing. I'm still shaking my head over a weekend at Ocean City, then five days at a gaming convention. Plus, his 2-3 baseball games a week.

Best I can do is try to be encouraging and tell her to hang in there. She saw my FB posts about the contingent offer and got really pissy about it. I don't have the job yet and I'd be jumping up and down cheering for her if she got a job. Not dumping on her.

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Your brains...they're delicious.

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It really sounds like she's more of a frenemy. You don't need that bad mojo on your back!



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Come on, you miss Trudy...admit it!



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Problem is, I'd feel guilty -- like I was letting her down -- if I quit chatting or e-mailing her.

Damn that Catholic School upbringing!

We've been good friends for, ohhh, 20+ years. She's going through a bad time. I am too and just can't be strong for us both.

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Motherhood: Sleep is for the weak!!

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I would tell her that last part Lady M, you are there for her but you also need encouragement and support of your own.
Also reading that she got pissy about the contingent offer makes mad!

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It's Raining Men... :p

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Ummmm...didn't she turn down a job? So how are you at fault you got a job offer (possible) after all the hard work you have been doing?

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No, she didn't turn it down -- they went with someone else. She was griping about missing the gaming convention IF she got the job offer.

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If I were in your shoes, I'd cut back on the amount of contact I have with her, right now.
If you're not in the frame of mind to be able to offer the amount of support she seems to require, scale back until you're in a better place.

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Your brains...they're delicious.

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Lady Marsali wrote:

Problem is, I'd feel guilty -- like I was letting her down -- if I quit chatting or e-mailing her.

Damn that Catholic School upbringing!

We've been good friends for, ohhh, 20+ years. She's going through a bad time. I am too and just can't be strong for us both.


 But you know in your intellect that you have no reason for the guilt right?

I get it, I suffer from catholic school guilt as well but the writing is on the wall.  I'm giving you permission to sluff it off Girl!



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Come on, you miss Trudy...admit it!



Guru

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I think it is time to get rid of her as well. She doesn't sound like a friend. I would do a slow phase out. This way we still get stories for awhilewink.



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Senior Member

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You need to look after yourself and your needs first. I just do not think she is a friend. Do you really want to be around soneone who would feel better if you didn't get the job?

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Veteran Member

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I would also recommend the slow fade. I think by this point it would come naturally. I mean, not happy about your possible job? That is ridiculous and just not acceptable.

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Senior Member

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Oh jeez.....

She's pulling money out of her 401(k) to pay the bills.....

And being further pissy when I mentioned a small windfall (from a mutual fund that Dad had) that paid a couple of bills I'd had hanging over my head. I told her I'd have really preferred not to have gotten the money that way!

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Your brains...they're delicious.

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T.

You know what you want to do, for real.

Stop it! Don't make me spank you now.....

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Come on, you miss Trudy...admit it!



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Oh please -- Spank me baby!

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Veteran Member

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OK, the last 2 posts, coupled with your avatars, made me LOL.

Look at the two avatar pics, while repeating the posts in your head.

LOL!!!

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It's Raining Men... :p

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I agree with the others...slow fade. Windfalls happen. You are working at getting a job. She is trying to live her life like she still has a job.

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I know I'm an awful person but this is one thread/subject/author that I avidly read for its pure entertainment value. Lady, have you ever considered a career in writing? I'm an employment counsellor in real life so ask me anything you'd like. Any other peeps can ask away as well.

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