Next year i am about to head into stressful territory as little Too Sensitive is starting school. I am going to try to break into the Mummy friendship groups
I just want to make clear that i suck at making new friends. My newest friendship is 10 years old. I have a small number of really close friends but no casual ones.
I tried to break into a New Mum's group when DD was born, that just do not work out and i found myself stressing over the social interactions. I got so stressed that i actually reacted quite angrily when they did not want to be friends. I called a couple of women out on excluding me on get togethers, when i should have just walked away.
My attempts to make friends with my neighbours have not gone well. I make myself try and go over and initiate conversations when they are outside with their kids. They do chat back but they never seek me out, and only respond when i initiate it. So i stopped going over. Honestly i do not have much in common with my neighbours and it just seems like so much effort.
Does anyone else have any tips for being social and dealing better with the casual social scene. I want to make sure i smile and look approachable. I am not really a social person but i want to be able to fake it better. I really want some tips on how not to take it personally if someone does not want to be friends. My DD's best friend at daycare's mum blows hot and cold all the time. It really triggers a stress reaction in me. Some days she will say hello and other she will look right through me. I think i also need to develop a thicker skin..
I am really bad at making new friends because I just have so much going on and it takes enough "work" to keep up with the friendships I have that I don't have a lot of time to find new ones.
I broke the ice with my neighbors by bringing them some of the many tomatoes in my garden. They reciprocated with apples from their tree and on it went.
For school or day care perhaps bring some pretty cupcakes to share or even a bag of fresh seasonal fruit.
I could tell you to not second guess yourself but that is a pretty ingrained habit, I tend to over think things as well. Good Luck!
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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened
I am not sure I am going to be much help either, I have trouble making new friends too. I am friendly and I like people, and they seem to like me, then I start second guessing myself. I feel like I am intruding on established friendships. It is one of the reasons I had a hard time posting here. I felt like I was butting in, even though no one ever made me feel like I wasn't welcome. I don't really have any "new friendships either and very few old ones since I had to cull the herd. I have one I have known for about 15 years now, my SIL I have known for 10, I have my older sister. I think that's about it. I talk to one of the other moms in our neighborhood but have resisted joining their group. They have known each other for years, I just worry I won't fit in.
It's a shame we live so far apart, I have a feeling we would make good friends. You think I'm sneaky, I like that about you.
That's why I don't really have any friends. After years of trying to become friends with my DD's friends parents, I just gave up. I just go home and chill with my animals and putz around in the garden and yard.
It is strange as one of my friends can move to a new town and within a couple of months would have a large group of BFF. Mind you also does tend to drop the old friends. She just stops doing thngs with them. If they ring up though she is happy to get together. She just changes groups of freinds a lot. I have only manged to hang on as i arrange to do something twice a year.
This is the woman who always used to invite us to things and would spontaneously ring up and say "i decided to cook a roast and thought of you, come over and have some".
-- Edited by Too Sensitive on Wednesday 5th of September 2012 10:32:59 PM
I am not sure I am going to be much help either, I have trouble making new friends too. I am friendly and I like people, and they seem to like me, then I start second guessing myself. I feel like I am intruding on established friendships. It is one of the reasons I had a hard time posting here. I felt like I was butting in, even though no one ever made me feel like I wasn't welcome. I don't really have any "new friendships either and very few old ones since I had to cull the herd. I have one I have known for about 15 years now, my SIL I have known for 10, I have my older sister. I think that's about it. I talk to one of the other moms in our neighborhood but have resisted joining their group. They have known each other for years, I just worry I won't fit in.
It's a shame we live so far apart, I have a feeling we would make good friends. You think I'm sneaky, I like that about you.
I would love to be friends. That way i could know what you were up to.
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