I was at a deposition today with a lawyer whose personality I find unappealing but whom I must respect as a skilled trial lawyer.
But every now and again (as today, and never in front a jury) he will decide to be affable and easy-going, only he doesn't fool anyone.
I know that if I am putting up a pretense of being very relaxed and friendly, most times no one knows it's a pretense. I wonder if it's easier for women--I've learned that especially male lawyers and witnesses often underestimate me and I've learned to use that to my advantage.
If you are pretending to be nice (for strategic or social reasons) do you think you're convincing? How often do you use such ploys?
I don't pretend to be nice very often. And I'm guessing that when I do, it's not very convincing. I'm polite to people I dislike, but I wouldn't carry on a conversation with them.
I have a good game face. I can be sneaky and deceptive, and most of the time your not going to know it. The only time you will be able to tell I don't like you is if I don't care that you know. Then I will be coolly polite. I feel bad about this part of me, I don't use it IRL often. It's part of why I like mafia so much. It allows me to use a part of my personality I don't really like, but for fun. It makes that part of me not seem all bad. When I was younger people used to tell me I would a good lawyer... or criminal.
In social settings I am very good at it if I want to be but I have been "coached" at work about being better at it. But I am mostly expressing that I think you are an idiot, so it is rare in a social setting that I cam faced with that since I don't have any idiotic friends.
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