I have decided who my free bitch slap is going to be used on. I like to keep you guys in the loop on these things.
My younger sister is being induced today. It is their first baby. Within minutes of her being at the hospital her DH (the D stands for dip-**** BTW) leaves. He heads over to my older sisters house and says he can't stay at the hospital, he is feeling antsy. WTH!!! THEY JUST GOT THERE! They haven't even done anything yet, just getting her in her room. I don't like him anyway but this just makes me want to punch him in the face. I feel so bad for this baby. My sister and I started placing bets months ago about how long it's going to take before one of us ends up with the baby.
He is a druggie and has MI. He needs all of her attention and hates noise. That's one of the really messed up things about this whole thing, he doesn't like kids and the noise they make. Now he is going to have a crying baby in his house. My sister has her own set of issues. This whole thing is so messed up, but for some reason him leaving just set me off. That poor baby. I am worried about what's going to happen to her.
(((hugs))) to you for all you're going through right now Mom o'
I hope this doesn't come out sounding wrong because it is meant with the purest of intentions but I hope you don't end up with this baby. I've been rooting for you and your team and the struggles you have with travels, moving, job being a Mom of your own kids. I'd hate to see an added stress factor thrown in the mix when you're trying so hard and doing so well.
Not that I don't think you can handle a baby because I'm sure you'd be fantastic but mainly because the baby will come with all the additional drama of the druggie and whatever your sister's issues are.
I feel like a bad person for not being more charitable at a time like this but can someone please explain to me why anyone would make a baby with a MI druggie?
When I thought of being pregnant my first thought was: Examine all the guys and choose the BEST one.
Which one is the biggest, strongest, smartest, healthiest, best able to provide for and protect because he's going to have to take care of me while I take care of his baby.
I can't imagine picking someone with a MI to be the father of my baby let alone a drug habit.
It makes no sense to put yourself in such a vulnerable position for five or more years if the father isn't capable of caring for you.
My sister has MI as well. She is a former cutter and has had eating disorders on and off for a few years now. She was still purging shortly before she got pregnant. She told my sister she stopped but I have my doubts. Older sister saw her today before she went to the hospital. She said she has gained weight and you can tell she is pregnant but she is still very small. The baby isn't really early either she was due on Christmas eve.
I don't have a relationship with younger sister. She is a thief and has stole from me in the past. Last time I said enough was enough and cut contact. Now I almost wish I hadn't. I'm worried about the baby. What kind of a chance does she have being raised by 2 parents with untreated MI, drug addictions, and a host of other problems. I'm scared she is going to be a colicky baby and cry a lot. I'm worried BIL won't be able to take the noise and hurt her. This whole thing is a mess.
I'm not offended you are hoping I don't end up with the baby dqm. I would like her parents to get some help, get clean, and raise her themselves. I just don't think it's going to happen. OS thinks YS is going to end up showing up on her doorstep in a few weeks/months with the baby because BIL couldn't take having a kid around. I think it's more likely CPS will end up involved and the baby placed with one of us. I am a stay at home mom and help OS with her kids a lot, I am the logical choice to take niece in if it comes to that. OS did say she would take her though.
Sorry this is all over the place, I am just upset about this whole situation. It's more real now that she is coming so soon, I'm sick with worry for her.
Oh Mom6, I feel sorry for the baby too. That would be a difficult situation for an adult to deal with, let alone a helpless child. I hope that the baby gives them a reason to get help and provide a good environment.
Technically speaking Mr. Huck has one, as did his father (i.e. depression). He's a wonderful father and so was his dad.
This does sound like a difficult situation, Mom. I hope the delivery goes well and that the parents and baby settle in together better than is to be expected.
If they got treatment for the MI I wouldn't think twice about it. I don't want to give people the impression I think people with MI shouldn't have kids. They can be great parents. I should have clarified that in my first post. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I just got kind of worked up. 2 people with untreated MI, drug addiction and other issues aren't likely to be great parents.
Poor girl doesn't even have one dependable parent. Her father didn't even make it half an hour before he took off, and that's when nothing was going on. WTH is he going to do when she has a real problem?
I wasn't offended at all by your comments or by DQM's. Mental illness can be a huge problem or a manageable one, at different times in the same person, too. I don't blame you a bit for being anxious about this situation, especially when there are drug problems as well, I'll say a prayer for all three of them if that's OK.
I just get uncomfortable with generalizations about mental illness, and was responding to that, for which I apologize as that is not what this thread is about.
Technically speaking Mr. Huck has one, as did his father (i.e. depression). He's a wonderful father and so was his dad.
This does sound like a difficult situation, Mom. I hope the delivery goes well and that the parents and baby settle in together better than is to be expected.
MI aside, my point is that when you choose to have a baby you are making yourself vulnerable and if you're going to do that it makes sense to choose the best partner possible. If the person only has one arm you might still choose him because he's demonstrated that he can function to your satisfaction with just one arm. OR maybe he can't but you're capable or have a larger support system to compensate.
I don't see MI as any different. I suppose that if you're the mother in the situation and you have MI yourself it may not be as easy to recognize the extent of your own strengths and weaknesses let alone those of others. All the more tragic.
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. My sister and I started placing bets months ago about how long it's going to take before one of us ends up with the baby
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