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Post Info TOPIC: Dinner time in a multi-family household


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Dinner time in a multi-family household
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This has to do with Cousin, but I'm just curious about opinions on this in general.

Quick BG: I live with my parents, and my cousin and her 8.5 year old son live with us. We have a finished basement with it's own full bath, and that's where Cousin and CS (cousin's son) live.

If you've read my other threads, there is a lot of tension. One of my mom's pet peeves is that Cousin cooks for her self and her son, and doesn't cook family meals, whearas as I often cooked family meals (especially in the beginning). I am divided on this issue. On the one hand, I can see how it is much easier to cook for yourself and a child rather than 4 adults and a child. And I can see how she'd want to spend one-on-one time with her son. OTOH, I don't care for the fact that for about 2 hours each school night, she essentially monopolizes the kitchen and the eating area. She has a table and chairs in her suite, so I do think that if she's not going to offer dinner to everybody in the home at that time, then she and her son should take their meal downstairs, so that we can cook and eat our own dinner.

 

Thoughts on this as a general situation, not regarding Cousin in particular?



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I think it is generally polite to offer to cook for the family if you are cooking during meal time and the others include you in their meal.

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~Ride Free~ ~ Live Free~ (M)

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I would say if cooking for everyone then all eat in eating aera, if just cooking for yourself and child and have your own area to eat, then you go eat there and not use the main eating area, which leaves it free for others to cook and eat in

this would make me frusterated also

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I don't mind that Cousin doesn't feed us (frankly she's not that good a cook). But I do feel like if she wants one-on-one meal time with her son, that they should eat in their area, rather than taking over a common area.

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Is this communal food or does cousin buy her own food for herself and son? I do think it's selfish to monopolize the kitchen for two hours. The only solution as I see it is either try to share the kitchen with her (if you or your parents bump into her enough times, maybe she'll get a clue! After all, it's their kitchen and she can't expect them to starve while she's gets to solely use it. Or, have your folks set her up w/her own appliances downstairs. A two burner outlet, toaster oven, microwave and mini-fridge should do her just fine.

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ahahaha about the fact that isn't a good cook. Then, yes, she should cook and take it downstairs to linger if that is what she is after.

Do you have a calendar counting down the days till she moves out yet?

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I am with you on that she should probably cook and then get out of the kitchen and eat and then come back and clean up or clean as she goes. She should not monopolize the entire kitchen for sure every night. I do understand her not wanting to cook for everyone. That is a big endeavor since a lot of people live at your house. Plus I am guessing everyone has different tastes in food or diets plus different schedules so trying to coordinate all that would be a pain.

So the main thing is as long as she got in and got out and cleaned up, it would not bother me.

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I also second what someone said about it would help if she got her own hot plate or microwave and mini fridge or electric skillet etc to keep downstairs and she can cook some meals down there.

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If it was me, I'd cook around her (and if she generally started cooking at the same time, I'd start 5 minutes earlier) and eat my delicious food at the table whether her and her kid were there or not. I wouldn't get a hot plate or anything else for downstairs, especially with what you've said about her cleaning habits.

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winds55 wrote:

If it was me, I'd cook around her (and if she generally started cooking at the same time, I'd start 5 minutes earlier) and eat my delicious food at the table whether her and her kid were there or not. I wouldn't get a hot plate or anything else for downstairs, especially with what you've said about her cleaning habits.


 i wouldn't be adding any refrigeration or cooking sources in her apartment because she is on her way out.

and yes, i'd be using my own damn kitchen to prepare my meals.  i'd also tell her to take her food to her apartment so she and her son could share their meal.  i'm just grumpy enough to make it clear that she and her son will NOT interfere with my meals. 



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just hanging around wrote:
winds55 wrote:

If it was me, I'd cook around her (and if she generally started cooking at the same time, I'd start 5 minutes earlier) and eat my delicious food at the table whether her and her kid were there or not. I wouldn't get a hot plate or anything else for downstairs, especially with what you've said about her cleaning habits.


 i wouldn't be adding any refrigeration or cooking sources in her apartment because she is on her way out.

and yes, i'd be using my own damn kitchen to prepare my meals.  i'd also tell her to take her food to her apartment so she and her son could share their meal.  i'm just grumpy enough to make it clear that she and her son will NOT interfere with my meals. 


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