Invisapeeps 2.0

Hurray!

(be sure to get the keys...)

Yup, not a bad idea. Any chance it will happen?

24 hours!

I doubt mom will re-key the house. Heck, I doubt she'll ask for the key back!

And Cousin never did find that muffin tin.

I am wondering if there will be a meal time blow out tonight or tomorrow morning.

Balloon Animal wrote:

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When is the party?

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 probably as soon as the moving van pulls out of the driveway!

hope cousin is serious about living on her own and actually makes a home for she and her son and does not come back *sad* and making your mom feel she *has* to *save* her again.....but that will be up to your parents.

OD, i'm sorry, but i just want to shake your mother severely. Cousin had a rough childhood, yes. Cousin needed the support of your family. got it. but she's gone to needing and appreciating that support to thinking that it is her due, and that she and her son come before you, your sister, and your nephew. and that **** ain't cool. and your parents agree with her. which is even less cool. i would never put the interests of another child in front of my own grandchild.

how is your mom going to feel when her grandchild is finally old enough to tell her that he knows that she loves CS more than she loves him? the sad part is, by the time he's old enough to verbalize such sentiments, it will be too late to fix it.

i'm actually feeling mellow this morning...i would prefer to make like Cher in Moonstruck, especially the "Snap Out Of It!!!" part.

JHA, I agree with you. Mom is in many ways very co-depedent. Class child of an alcoholic. I think she's mad at herself for not being able to "fix" this. But only Cousin could fix this situation. Like they say on eHell - there are no magic words. There are no magic words that will make Cousin say, "You are right. My son's behavior is out of line and I need to address that."

I'm also kind of mad at my mom too, because frankly I feel she should be angrier about CS ruining our 2 major Christmas events - tree decorating and Christmas day - and not so damn worried about Cousin not liking her.

Wednesday, mom picked up Nephew from school and fed him dinner, b/c Sister had an event. Cousin and CS were there. This is probably the 3rd time CS and Nephew have been in the same room sense Christmas. Cousin thinks she gets to police Nephew's eating. She tried to tell Nephew he had to finish his food, and Mom said, "No, that's not how we do it." Mom told Nephew that if he didn't finish his food, then he could have no other food and only water for the rest of the evening.

In her eyes, she "stood up for Nephew". Um, no. She should have icily told Cousin that Nephew's eating was not her concern. Or angrily told her to STFU.

Her idea of "standing up" for Nephew is so freaking pitiful and that's why Sister doesn't allow Nephew over when CS is there. Because Mom WON'T HOLD THE LINE.

Forty-two wrote:

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OK for those of us who have not been around for a while can I get a back story?

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 Can't believe you've missed all of my juicy Cousin drama! For more info, check out my user profile. Most of my threads are about Cousin.

 

Here's a summary. I live with my mom and dad, and my cousin and her son (CS = Cousin's Son) live with us. He will be 9 in July.

She is divorced. Cousin moved in with us about 4 years ago when she started her residency, because we have a large house. Residents work crazy hours, sometimes 80 hour weeks, so this way there would be somebody on hand to take care of her dogs (she had 2, one has since died) and her son.

Things went pretty well at first. But Cousin has always been a very permissive parent, so CS has become more and more disobedient. Cousin also does stuff like bake muffins, then leave her muffin tin in the sink for 3 weeks and not wash it.

My sister has a son (he will be 4 in September.) CS is extremely jealous of Nephew and bullies him.

Our family got in the habit of working around this "missing stair". Trying to plan things when Cousin and CS wouldn't be there, etc.

Things blew up over Christmas. We have 2 important events - the tree decorating which is also Mom's bday party (she's a December baby and loves Christmas) and Christmas Day itself.

On Mom's bday, my dad took us to breakfast. CS was HORRIBLE. Yelling, crying, etc. He pulls out his book to read, my dad asks him what he's reading. He ignores him. Cousin says, "If you don't want to talk, you need to say so." So this child is allowed to tell the man who is paying for his meal and WHO PUTS A ROOF OVER HIS HEAD that, "I don't wnat to talk to you right now," and ignore him. Cousin thinks this is fine. He refuses to get any food, so Cousin orders hot chocolate for him and then PRAISES HIM FOR DRINKING IT.

That evening, we decorate our tree. It's the 5 of us, my little brother, my sister, Nephew and sister's stepson (age 15). CS is running wild. He keeps throwing ornaments at the tree. We keep asking him to please not do it. Cousin basically tunes this out (she is busy on her phone) until the 5th or so correction and she starts shouting at CS and puts him in time-out. That means he's facing the wall, whining and kicking the wall, while we awkwardly try to continue the party.

Later, Nephew is sitting with his brother and they are playing together. CS goes to get a toy. CS has been told MULTIPLE TIMES that when Nephew is over, CS is not allowed to bring any toys upstairs (they have a suite downstairs) to play. He can play with the upstairs toys, or he can play with his own toys downstairs. He brings up a toy, sits right by Nephew and Stepson and proceeds to play with this toy on the arm of the chair Nephew and Stepson are sitting in. I tell him to take the toy downstairs, Cousin tells me to let her handle it, and I say, "Then handle it." She says soemthing about the rules needing to be "fair".

Dinner is more of the same. Food is a huge huge power struggle with CS.

Christmas Eve, Cousin and CS drive to see Cousins' mother (Cousin is my mom's brother's daughter). She takes most of CS's presents with her for them to open together.

Consequently, in Christmas Day, CS has very few presents to open. Of course, very few is relative - he has a present from me, 2 from my parents, 1 from my brother, 1 from sister, etc. But Nephew has a lot more presents, b/c Nephew didn't open any the night before. also, nephew would open a present, play with it for a while, then open another one, vs CS's 15 minute present open orgy.

So Nephew complains that he didn't "get anything good" for Christmas, and wont' stop helping open Nephew's presents. Cousin is (like always) face down in her phone ignoring things.

Finally Cousin gets irritated and takes away ALL OF CS'S TOYS. So, on  CHRISTMAS DAY, she makse him pack up all his toys in rubbermaid tubs. then she skypes her boyfriend, takes a nap and goes for a job, leaving US to wrangle her pissed-off child. ANd now that his toys are off-limits, he just steals Nephew's toys. this goes on ALL DAY.

That evening, Cousin gives the toys back. Yup.

So things just broke down from there. Mom and Cousin attended a counseling session where Cousin basically said she wasn't going to change a singel thing about CS's behavior.

Sister put her foot down and said that she was no longer allowing Nephew to be in CS's presence.

So Mom finally asked Cousin to move out. So cousin didn't pay rent for 4 months (and went to Aspen and DisneyWorld).

Whew! That was a lot!

www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t54531122/you-dont-see-a-connection-here-really/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t54911820/anybody-ever-successfully-confront-the-parent-of-a-bratty-ch/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t56623035/if-you-want-him-to-gain-weight-why-are-you-feeding-him-diet-/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t56263198/need-advice-confrontation-with-cousin-with-bratty-son/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t56918261/cousin-and-the-boyfriend/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t56918261/cousin-and-the-boyfriend/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t56978262/my-mom-is-a-sucker/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t57134902/cousin-and-the-muffin-tin/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t57198078/cousins-planning-to-not-buy-groceries-for-a-month/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t57239413/would-you-like-some-dinner-with-that-drama/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t57269863/dad-has-a-minor-epiphany-regarding-cousin/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t57328473/mom-gives-css-father-an-earful/
www.invisapeeps2.activeboard.com/t57319141/cs-couldnt-find-anything-good-at-the-grocery-store/

well, she supplied the latest two posts above yours. but the upshot is, mom feels guilty about Cousin's life, puts her and her son before her daughters and grandson, and when daughters protest, Dad steps in and tells them that they're mean. Cousin gets away with anything, CS is allowed to bully a child 5 years younger than he is, and a whole bunch of other stuff.

the one where Dad has an epiphany and mom gives css's father are pretty eye-opening.

Mom talked to two of her friends today who fussed at her. One said, "You've already got her footprints on your back and you're still laying down for her!"

I think it's really hard for mom to wrap her head around how Cousin could be so kind and loving and call her her "second Mom" and then do this other stuff. I don't really get it either.

You'd think from reading my stories that Cousin is a mean person. She's not. If you met her, you would be SHOCKED by these stories.

OD, how did it go? are they gone?

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

(I vote for trash...or Goodwill if it's good enough and you don't want it!)

That's my vote. I think Mom is going to hang on to it for a while before trashing it.

Mom upset b/c Cousin left behind a cross-stitch Sister made for her when she was pregnant. It was a lot of work. Nephew was in the hospital for 2 nights (he's fine) at the hospital where Cousin works and Cousin didn't come by to visit. So after that, the cross stitch thing is not ever a blip on my radar.

Oh, and Cousin called wanting mom's stash of BB&B coupons. B/c apparently she needs to buy a bunch of new stuff for her apt. Again, SUPER glad she didn't pay rent for 4 months since she CLEARLY needed to save her pennies!

Is it wrong that I'm going to miss the cousin and CS's drama?

I would have handed her the dirty tin.