This weekend, my mom, sister, me and my sister's son (age 3.5) went to the beach. My little brother (late 20s) was upset we didn't invite him. I said that we didn't think he'd enjoy a beach trip with a toddler, and he said he could always find fun stuff to do at the beach. I feel like we were right not to invite him. We rented a small 2 bdr condo (only 1 key, btw), so anybody doing "their own thing" would not have worked. This trip was about nephew, mostly. We got up when he got up (around 6:30 am). When he was tired, we left the beach. We ate foods for dinner he liked. It was a great trip!
If LB was willing to do t hat with us, we'd be fine. But he'd want to go do his own thing, which would mean us being awakened late when he got in at night, us having to be super quiet at 6:30 b/c he was sleeping, etc.
It's one thing to want to join a family trip, but it's totally different to want to tag along on a family trip and crash at their condo and then do your own thing.
I don't think he'd see it that way. I think he'd see it as us doing "our thing" and him doing "his thing". I guess he doesn't get that he'd be inconvienencing us?
I can see where he is kinda coming from. It would not hurt to at least ask him if he wants to come but then lay out all the stipulations for him and see if he is willing to work with those. I have never head of a condo not giving more than one key though. Next time ask first at least and give him a chance. He may surprise you. Glad you had a nice trip. Sounds fun. And you are right that when you have a kid with you you gotta cater the schedule to him.
In this case, there was a little lockbox on the doorknob that held the key. I didnt' see any kind of central office where we could request a second key or anything. I have no idea how common that is.
What I'm a little irritated about was that we were right - he didn't want to be part of the kind of trip we were having. Which he proved (I think) by saying, "I can always find something fun to do at the beach." He didn't say, "I'd love to spend a weekend on the beach with you and Nephew. So he's hurt that we didn't invite him to go on our trip with us so he could NOT hang out with us.
This is the kind of trip that sisters often take with their mom. My sister and I often did things and didn't invite my brother. You all had the same goal - to make it fun for your nephew. Could you plan another outing for the family with an activity that both your nephew and brother would like? I have no idea what that would be, though.
We told LB, "We invite you to stuff and you always say no!" And his reply, "You invite me to artsy-fartsy stuff!"
Well, that's what we do! If you always say "no" then eventually people stop inviting you.
aww I feel for him maybe being the odd man out sometimes. Does your Dad do "guy" stuff with him? Or maybe have a gender neutral get together every so often for him to enjoy.
Oh well then he is kinda being picky and whiny then. Anyone can go to dinner. I can understand if you all go paint pottery or something and him obviously not wanting to do that.
