Invisapeeps 2.0

Balloon Animal wrote:

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ana wrote:

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No one is doubting that you take being a mother very seriously BA. You are probably a very good mother but we are talking about visiting a new mom that has just given birth. It is not as much a priority to people that are not the parents.

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 I guess different strokes for different folks as they say. I cannot imagine not being there for Merida if she is in labor or just had a baby. I mean I would go ahead and make sure my schedule was clear if I can around the time of expected birth so I would be packed and ready to go to be there for her (if I was invited to be there). 

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 I was there for the birth of my first grandchild and I intend to be there at the births of any others. It's what a mother does (at least, in my world).

flan

Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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I am going to say this as a mother of three. What the hell is with women thinking having a baby and raising a kid is some miraculously novel and hard thing (special needs kids aside). I look at Ben Cartwright a world known neurosurgeon who has separated conjoined twins (and used to be someone I looked up to until his crazy republican leanings came out) his mother couldn't even freakin read! There are many girls out there who raise kids, having been knocked up at 13, 14, 15, they do it so we women need to stop acting like having kids and raising them is somehow equal to doing brain surgery.

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 Well this does not apply to me since I have two kids with special needs and am raising one kid that is adopted. I think that puts me in a pretty freaking awesome category personally. 

Pooping out a kid is not a huge accomplishment but being an outstanding mother is. I am impressed with any woman that does an extraordinary job with it. Like my mom friend that even when she worked a full time job plus overtime that often required her to be on work trips still had the energy every weekend to make sure to haul her kids to all kinds of fun activities and parties and events. I know some stay at home moms that did not do as much as she did with her kids. She is a hero and she does deserve to be praised. 

 

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 Meh, I guess I look at what she is doing as I do my neighbor he works long hours and inspite of all of those hours he still has time to cut his acre lot instead of hiring someone to do it.  He should be praised

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 except she is the only working mom I know who really did all that. The other full time working moms I know don't do that. They are not as willing to spend their 2 off days carting kids around like my friend T is. Just saying. So she obviously going above and beyond most other full time working moms I know. 

Balloon Animal wrote:

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ana wrote:

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What exactly do you do for your father BA? Give him money? Pay for his golf?

Oh, I know. You call him on his birthday and buy him a card! So you do that for him once a year and he is expected to do that (at a minimum) 5 times a year?

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 well if you look in the craft thread I had all the kids make him handmade personalized garden stones for Father's Day just recently. We gave them to him early so he could go ahead and put them in the garden now while it is blooming. I never ever forget his birthday, Christmas or Father's Day. Not happened even once. I make sure the kids write him thank you notes for anything he does. Anytime he asks to come visit I do the best I can to make sure we can make that happen. He expects me to just drop everything and I can't do that, but I do my best. I travel 2 and a half hours with 3 kids to visit him several times a year often alone (which is not easy traveling with a child with autism, a child with food allergies that means I have to pack a ton of food for him to eat since my father cannot be bothered to get safe food for him, and another kid.).  

If he asks us to come to something important to him like his retirement or Christmas party we try to come. If he wants to talk about something we don't really care to talk about we at least show polite interest and try to be polite about it, while he will just cut us off when it comes to stuff like that. 

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 What is the big deal about traveling with a kid with food allergies?   I really don't need an answer because I am responsible for a multimillion dollar food allergy business and with that the member of advocacy groups.  Travel with an epipen and you are good to go.

Balloon Animal wrote:

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ana wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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ana wrote:

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What exactly do you do for your father BA? Give him money? Pay for his golf?

Oh, I know. You call him on his birthday and buy him a card! So you do that for him once a year and he is expected to do that (at a minimum) 5 times a year?

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 well if you look in the craft thread I had all the kids make him handmade personalized garden stones for Father's Day just recently. We gave them to him early so he could go ahead and put them in the garden now while it is blooming. I never ever forget his birthday, Christmas or Father's Day. Not happened even once. I make sure the kids write him thank you notes for anything he does. Anytime he asks to come visit I do the best I can to make sure we can make that happen. He expects me to just drop everything and I can't do that, but I do my best. I travel 2 and a half hours with 3 kids to visit him several times a year often alone (which is not easy traveling with a child with autism, a child with food allergies that means I have to pack a ton of food for him to eat since my father cannot be bothered to get safe food for him, and another kid.).  

If he asks us to come to something important to him like his retirement or Christmas party we try to come. If he wants to talk about something we don't really care to talk about we at least show polite interest and try to be polite about it, while he will just cut us off when it comes to stuff like that. 

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 So multiply that by 5.  You do that for one person.  He is expected to do it for 5.  That's a lot!

People with kids never seem to grasp that they ALWAYS get more but then they expect more from the people in their lives!

 

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 5?  are you saying DH?  He does not do any of that for DH nor do I expect him to. I really don't even care if he does it for me. Just please don't forget my kids. 

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 Okay so the ratio is 3 to 1.  He is still expected to do much more!

Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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I am going to say this as a mother of three. What the hell is with women thinking having a baby and raising a kid is some miraculously novel and hard thing (special needs kids aside). I look at Ben Cartwright a world known neurosurgeon who has separated conjoined twins (and used to be someone I looked up to until his crazy republican leanings came out) his mother couldn't even freakin read! There are many girls out there who raise kids, having been knocked up at 13, 14, 15, they do it so we women need to stop acting like having kids and raising them is somehow equal to doing brain surgery.

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 Well this does not apply to me since I have two kids with special needs and am raising one kid that is adopted. I think that puts me in a pretty freaking awesome category personally. 

Pooping out a kid is not a huge accomplishment but being an outstanding mother is. I am impressed with any woman that does an extraordinary job with it. Like my mom friend that even when she worked a full time job plus overtime that often required her to be on work trips still had the energy every weekend to make sure to haul her kids to all kinds of fun activities and parties and events. I know some stay at home moms that did not do as much as she did with her kids. She is a hero and she does deserve to be praised. 

 

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 Meh, I guess I look at what she is doing as I do my neighbor he works long hours and inspite of all of those hours he still has time to cut his acre lot instead of hiring someone to do it.  He should be praised

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 except she is the only working mom I know who really did all that. The other full time working moms I know don't do that. They are not as willing to spend their 2 off days carting kids around like my friend T is. Just saying. So she obviously going above and beyond most other full time working moms I know. 

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 No different from the guy I mentioned who cuts the grass after working most people in my neighborhood hire someone to do it.  I don't see what is praise worthy about it.  You should praise someone for doing menial activities?

ana wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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I am going to say this as a mother of three. What the hell is with women thinking having a baby and raising a kid is some miraculously novel and hard thing (special needs kids aside). I look at Ben Cartwright a world known neurosurgeon who has separated conjoined twins (and used to be someone I looked up to until his crazy republican leanings came out) his mother couldn't even freakin read! There are many girls out there who raise kids, having been knocked up at 13, 14, 15, they do it so we women need to stop acting like having kids and raising them is somehow equal to doing brain surgery.

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 Well this does not apply to me since I have two kids with special needs and am raising one kid that is adopted. I think that puts me in a pretty freaking awesome category personally. 

Pooping out a kid is not a huge accomplishment but being an outstanding mother is. I am impressed with any woman that does an extraordinary job with it. Like my mom friend that even when she worked a full time job plus overtime that often required her to be on work trips still had the energy every weekend to make sure to haul her kids to all kinds of fun activities and parties and events. I know some stay at home moms that did not do as much as she did with her kids. She is a hero and she does deserve to be praised. 

 

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 Meh, I guess I look at what she is doing as I do my neighbor he works long hours and inspite of all of those hours he still has time to cut his acre lot instead of hiring someone to do it.  He should be praised

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 except she is the only working mom I know who really did all that. The other full time working moms I know don't do that. They are not as willing to spend their 2 off days carting kids around like my friend T is. Just saying. So she obviously going above and beyond most other full time working moms I know. 

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 You must not know a lot of working moms.  EVERY single one I know spends every evening and most weekends filled with children's activities.  So much so they rarely get an hour to themselves! 

 

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 I do know a lot of working moms. I was one, and a single parent after the death of my first husband.

The PARENT chooses how many activities the CHILD participates in.

And, guess what? Being a parent often means the kids take precedence when they're young.

flan

So you judge all the other moms you know, too, huh, BA? Do you keep a spreadsheet on them, too?

flan327 wrote:

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ana wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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I am going to say this as a mother of three. What the hell is with women thinking having a baby and raising a kid is some miraculously novel and hard thing (special needs kids aside). I look at Ben Cartwright a world known neurosurgeon who has separated conjoined twins (and used to be someone I looked up to until his crazy republican leanings came out) his mother couldn't even freakin read! There are many girls out there who raise kids, having been knocked up at 13, 14, 15, they do it so we women need to stop acting like having kids and raising them is somehow equal to doing brain surgery.

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 Well this does not apply to me since I have two kids with special needs and am raising one kid that is adopted. I think that puts me in a pretty freaking awesome category personally. 

Pooping out a kid is not a huge accomplishment but being an outstanding mother is. I am impressed with any woman that does an extraordinary job with it. Like my mom friend that even when she worked a full time job plus overtime that often required her to be on work trips still had the energy every weekend to make sure to haul her kids to all kinds of fun activities and parties and events. I know some stay at home moms that did not do as much as she did with her kids. She is a hero and she does deserve to be praised. 

 

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 Meh, I guess I look at what she is doing as I do my neighbor he works long hours and inspite of all of those hours he still has time to cut his acre lot instead of hiring someone to do it.  He should be praised

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 except she is the only working mom I know who really did all that. The other full time working moms I know don't do that. They are not as willing to spend their 2 off days carting kids around like my friend T is. Just saying. So she obviously going above and beyond most other full time working moms I know. 

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 You must not know a lot of working moms.  EVERY single one I know spends every evening and most weekends filled with children's activities.  So much so they rarely get an hour to themselves! 

 

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 I do know a lot of working moms. I was one, and a single parent after the death of my first husband.

The PARENT chooses how many activities the CHILD participates in.

And, guess what? Being a parent often means the kids take precedence when they're young.

flan

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 Exactly.  

However, BA seems to know a lot of mothers where the kids don't take precedence.  

All my friends made a mindful decision to have children and that means sacrificing their time and money and having their children participate in activities that will make them full rounded individuals.  And not just when they are young!  If they are at all competitive and good at anything, that fills up a whole hell of a lot of time!

 

ana wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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I am going to say this as a mother of three. What the hell is with women thinking having a baby and raising a kid is some miraculously novel and hard thing (special needs kids aside). I look at Ben Cartwright a world known neurosurgeon who has separated conjoined twins (and used to be someone I looked up to until his crazy republican leanings came out) his mother couldn't even freakin read! There are many girls out there who raise kids, having been knocked up at 13, 14, 15, they do it so we women need to stop acting like having kids and raising them is somehow equal to doing brain surgery.

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 Well this does not apply to me since I have two kids with special needs and am raising one kid that is adopted. I think that puts me in a pretty freaking awesome category personally. 

Pooping out a kid is not a huge accomplishment but being an outstanding mother is. I am impressed with any woman that does an extraordinary job with it. Like my mom friend that even when she worked a full time job plus overtime that often required her to be on work trips still had the energy every weekend to make sure to haul her kids to all kinds of fun activities and parties and events. I know some stay at home moms that did not do as much as she did with her kids. She is a hero and she does deserve to be praised. 

 

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 Meh, I guess I look at what she is doing as I do my neighbor he works long hours and inspite of all of those hours he still has time to cut his acre lot instead of hiring someone to do it.  He should be praised

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 except she is the only working mom I know who really did all that. The other full time working moms I know don't do that. They are not as willing to spend their 2 off days carting kids around like my friend T is. Just saying. So she obviously going above and beyond most other full time working moms I know. 

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 No different from the guy I mentioned who cuts the grass after working most people in my neighborhood hire someone to do it.  I don't see what is praise worthy about it.  You should praise someone for doing menial activities?

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 Now, now, 42.  That is typically what most SAHMs do every day.  Menial activities.  Out of love, no doubt.  But still menial activities.

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 Fair, but praise that day who cuts his grass after he comes home from work.  Praise him when he goes to Home Depot, praise him for doing all of the stuff on his honey do list.  Why is the crap a mom does so freakin special.  So she drives her kids to events big freakin deal.  I just don't get it.  

Forty-two wrote:

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ana wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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I am going to say this as a mother of three. What the hell is with women thinking having a baby and raising a kid is some miraculously novel and hard thing (special needs kids aside). I look at Ben Cartwright a world known neurosurgeon who has separated conjoined twins (and used to be someone I looked up to until his crazy republican leanings came out) his mother couldn't even freakin read! There are many girls out there who raise kids, having been knocked up at 13, 14, 15, they do it so we women need to stop acting like having kids and raising them is somehow equal to doing brain surgery.

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 Well this does not apply to me since I have two kids with special needs and am raising one kid that is adopted. I think that puts me in a pretty freaking awesome category personally. 

Pooping out a kid is not a huge accomplishment but being an outstanding mother is. I am impressed with any woman that does an extraordinary job with it. Like my mom friend that even when she worked a full time job plus overtime that often required her to be on work trips still had the energy every weekend to make sure to haul her kids to all kinds of fun activities and parties and events. I know some stay at home moms that did not do as much as she did with her kids. She is a hero and she does deserve to be praised. 

 

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 Meh, I guess I look at what she is doing as I do my neighbor he works long hours and inspite of all of those hours he still has time to cut his acre lot instead of hiring someone to do it.  He should be praised

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 except she is the only working mom I know who really did all that. The other full time working moms I know don't do that. They are not as willing to spend their 2 off days carting kids around like my friend T is. Just saying. So she obviously going above and beyond most other full time working moms I know. 

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 No different from the guy I mentioned who cuts the grass after working most people in my neighborhood hire someone to do it.  I don't see what is praise worthy about it.  You should praise someone for doing menial activities?

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 Now, now, 42.  That is typically what most SAHMs do every day.  Menial activities.  Out of love, no doubt.  But still menial activities.

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 Fair, but praise that day who cuts his grass after he comes home from work.  Praise him when he goes to Home Depot, praise him for doing all of the stuff on his honey do list.  Why is the crap a mom does so freakin special.  So she drives her kids to events big freakin deal.  I just don't get it.  

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 because not all moms do that. I have seen too many times a kid come up and carry the party invitations around we give them for a week and even sleep with them they want to go to the party so badly. Then the day of the party, the parents can't be bothered to bring them because they are tired or just don't feel like it. My friend T and a couple other working moms I know, don't let that stuff stop them. So to me they go above and beyond. And I know they just didn't feel like coming, because they straight up told me so. So their kid missed out. Which is fine occasionally but not every time. That is putting you above your kid. 

I have cooked for lots of people with allergies and sensitivities. A lot.

Travelling with a child with a food allergy is not that hard. I've taken my nephew 1/2 around the world and guess what, he survived!

All you need to do is give him unprocessed food. It's that simple. And eating at restaurants has never been that much an issue either. My nephew is deathly allergic to nuts, and also has a wheat and soy allergy. We avoided Asian restaurants and any restaurants that cooked with peanut oil or had peanuts in the bar area. I've never had any restaurant turn us away!

Where the hell did you go that they couldn't accommodate you? Plus for a 2 1/2 hour trip, all you need is some fruit, vegetables, cheese strings, water/juice and you are good to go!

Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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ana wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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Forty-two wrote:

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I am going to say this as a mother of three. What the hell is with women thinking having a baby and raising a kid is some miraculously novel and hard thing (special needs kids aside). I look at Ben Cartwright a world known neurosurgeon who has separated conjoined twins (and used to be someone I looked up to until his crazy republican leanings came out) his mother couldn't even freakin read! There are many girls out there who raise kids, having been knocked up at 13, 14, 15, they do it so we women need to stop acting like having kids and raising them is somehow equal to doing brain surgery.

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 Well this does not apply to me since I have two kids with special needs and am raising one kid that is adopted. I think that puts me in a pretty freaking awesome category personally. 

Pooping out a kid is not a huge accomplishment but being an outstanding mother is. I am impressed with any woman that does an extraordinary job with it. Like my mom friend that even when she worked a full time job plus overtime that often required her to be on work trips still had the energy every weekend to make sure to haul her kids to all kinds of fun activities and parties and events. I know some stay at home moms that did not do as much as she did with her kids. She is a hero and she does deserve to be praised. 

 

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 Meh, I guess I look at what she is doing as I do my neighbor he works long hours and inspite of all of those hours he still has time to cut his acre lot instead of hiring someone to do it.  He should be praised

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 except she is the only working mom I know who really did all that. The other full time working moms I know don't do that. They are not as willing to spend their 2 off days carting kids around like my friend T is. Just saying. So she obviously going above and beyond most other full time working moms I know. 

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 No different from the guy I mentioned who cuts the grass after working most people in my neighborhood hire someone to do it.  I don't see what is praise worthy about it.  You should praise someone for doing menial activities?

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 Now, now, 42.  That is typically what most SAHMs do every day.  Menial activities.  Out of love, no doubt.  But still menial activities.

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 Fair, but praise that day who cuts his grass after he comes home from work.  Praise him when he goes to Home Depot, praise him for doing all of the stuff on his honey do list.  Why is the crap a mom does so freakin special.  So she drives her kids to events big freakin deal.  I just don't get it.  

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 because not all moms do that. I have seen too many times a kid come up and carry the party invitations around we give them for a week and even sleep with them they want to go to the party so badly. Then the day of the party, the parents can't be bothered to bring them because they are tired or just don't feel like it. My friend T and a couple other working moms I know, don't let that stuff stop them. So to me they go above and beyond. And I know they just didn't feel like coming, because they straight up told me so. So their kid missed out. Which is fine occasionally but not every time. That is putting you above your kid. 

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 Hahahaha!

I have never known a parent to not take a kid to a birthday party so they could have a few hours child-free!

Ever stop to think that the working mom actually wanted to spend time with her child instead of judging them as bad mothers?

But, as we all know, giving birth does not automatically make one a good parent.  We have plenty of proof of that!

probably because winds is making personal attacks and name calling. Everyone else is fine. Winds also sent me a nasty pm yesterday.

Balloon Animal wrote:

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probably because winds is making personal attacks and name calling. Everyone else is fine. Winds also sent me a nasty pm yesterday.

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 Are you kidding me?!?! who does that?  aren't there rules against that?

OpheliaDev1 wrote:

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Flan and Balloon Animal - you are wasting your time. Sadly, if anybody other than BA had started this thread, it would have gone in a totally different direction.

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 Thanks, Ophelia. I'm well aware of the animosity against BA.

flan

I have no animosity towards BA. I was just trying to give her another point of view.

I didn't see animosity towards her we were all just giving her a another point of view and hoping she could see it. Not everyone thinks like she does, it seems clear her father doesn't and she needs to accept that or else she is going to have a long history of angst.

We live a four hour flight from any grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins, and my kids have managed to survive intact. It honestly would never occur to me to invite anyone other than immediate family to recitals, etc. My daughters consider close friends of ours as Auntie/Uncle and we invite them to event that they might be interested in as they had previously indicated that they usually enjoy these things. They always can (and have) said no, with no explanations required. My daughters consider auntie or uncle attending as a special treat, not an expectation in any way.

I don't think I've ever seen a grandparent on a school field trip or volunteering in a school... I didn't realize people did that.

flan327 wrote:

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genie wrote:

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We live a four hour flight from any grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins, and my kids have managed to survive intact. It honestly would never occur to me to invite anyone other than immediate family to recitals, etc. My daughters consider close friends of ours as Auntie/Uncle and we invite them to event that they might be interested in as they had previously indicated that they usually enjoy these things. They always can (and have) said no, with no explanations required. My daughters consider auntie or uncle attending as a special treat, not an expectation in any way.

I don't think I've ever seen a grandparent on a school field trip or volunteering in a school... I didn't realize people did that.

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 DH's DGD's school has a Grandparent's Day every year. We've gone for 3 years now, I think.

flan

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 Huh. I'd venture a guess that maybe a quarter of DD's friends at school have grandparents living within driving distance... maybe less? We definitely don't have any grandparent focused occasions at school, even though respect for elders is a key part of the cultural elements of her school. Our area is a high growth area though... very few of the parents to dd's friends grew up in our city; most moved here as adults for school or work.

Balloon Animal wrote:

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ana wrote:

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Balloon Animal wrote:

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ana wrote:

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No one is doubting that you take being a mother very seriously BA. You are probably a very good mother but we are talking about visiting a new mom that has just given birth. It is not as much a priority to people that are not the parents.

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 I guess different strokes for different folks as they say. I cannot imagine not being there for Merida if she is in labor or just had a baby. I mean I would go ahead and make sure my schedule was clear if I can around the time of expected birth so I would be packed and ready to go to be there for her (if I was invited to be there). 

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 Sigh.  How do I explain this so you grasp it?

Just because it is something you plan to do, doesn't mean it has the same significance for every other mother out there.  Really, people are allowed to be different and feel differently about the same thing! 

 

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 that is why I said different strokes for different folks which is exactly what you just tried to explain to me. I don't see the issue. 

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 Because you are the one who doesn't seem to be accepting this- you seem to think your father is not just different, but wrong.

i'm not going to go into the whole issue of whether having kids is a miracle, how hard it is, etc- this doesn't matter, it doesn't create obligations for other people to attend every event you think they should or visit when you think they should.

genie wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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genie wrote:

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We live a four hour flight from any grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins, and my kids have managed to survive intact. It honestly would never occur to me to invite anyone other than immediate family to recitals, etc. My daughters consider close friends of ours as Auntie/Uncle and we invite them to event that they might be interested in as they had previously indicated that they usually enjoy these things. They always can (and have) said no, with no explanations required. My daughters consider auntie or uncle attending as a special treat, not an expectation in any way.

I don't think I've ever seen a grandparent on a school field trip or volunteering in a school... I didn't realize people did that.

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 DH's DGD's school has a Grandparent's Day every year. We've gone for 3 years now, I think.

flan

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 Huh. I'd venture a guess that maybe a quarter of DD's friends at school have grandparents living within driving distance... maybe less? We definitely don't have any grandparent focused occasions at school, even though respect for elders is a key part of the cultural elements of her school. Our area is a high growth area though... very few of the parents to dd's friends grew up in our city; most moved here as adults for school or work.

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 quoting myself to add, that on reflection, I don't believe any of my nieces or nephews (who live within blocks of their grandparents) have this level of involvement. No grandparent days as school either, even though in their area the vast majority are probably within driving distance.  Cultural difference?

Thanks cactus. Yes, epipens are great but they are no guarantee to save you. Just FYI. It is not like magic you are saved! No. Kids die ALL the time even with multiple epipens and hospitalization. The best and first defense is just making sure they NEVER eat the allergen or have contact with it in the first place. That is the real defense. We have never had to use the epipen but we have to check every single morsel of food that goes in his mouth, every ingredient.

I have had restaurants like the type that has a limited menu and don't like substitutions or changes will not want to accommodate you. Had it happen to us a couple times. Also beware of a lot of ethnic foods or places where the staff does not speak good English so may not understand what you are saying. Some places have signs on the menu or in the window like Dairy Queen saying that they cannot guarantee any food is allergy safe which is a CYA technique but we prefer to eat places that don't say that.

genie wrote:

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genie wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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genie wrote:

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We live a four hour flight from any grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins, and my kids have managed to survive intact. It honestly would never occur to me to invite anyone other than immediate family to recitals, etc. My daughters consider close friends of ours as Auntie/Uncle and we invite them to event that they might be interested in as they had previously indicated that they usually enjoy these things. They always can (and have) said no, with no explanations required. My daughters consider auntie or uncle attending as a special treat, not an expectation in any way.

I don't think I've ever seen a grandparent on a school field trip or volunteering in a school... I didn't realize people did that.

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 DH's DGD's school has a Grandparent's Day every year. We've gone for 3 years now, I think.

flan

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 Huh. I'd venture a guess that maybe a quarter of DD's friends at school have grandparents living within driving distance... maybe less? We definitely don't have any grandparent focused occasions at school, even though respect for elders is a key part of the cultural elements of her school. Our area is a high growth area though... very few of the parents to dd's friends grew up in our city; most moved here as adults for school or work.

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 quoting myself to add, that on reflection, I don't believe any of my nieces or nephews (who live within blocks of their grandparents) have this level of involvement. No grandparent days as school either, even though in their area the vast majority are probably within driving distance.  Cultural difference?

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 Yes our area is a bit hill billy in the way that most families have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, great grandparents living within 20 mins of each other or less. So yes, they all come to everything most of the time. It is like normal around here. Our school has a grandparents day at school every year and its a big deal. My mom did come and had to go between all the classes spreading herself thin. She felt bad for the kids that had no one show up for them. They were in the minority for sure she said. 

ana wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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ana wrote:

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I have no animosity towards BA. I was just trying to give her another point of view.

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 Many of us have been on other boards. It's quite obvious.

flan

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 Maybe to you.

 

BA, do you feel my interactions and replies to you are based solely out of animosity?   Because if you do, I can stop responding to you.

 

I try to be polite and rational.  I have never name-called or attacked a poster on any board.  I have disagreed with many but I thought that was the purpose of a board like this.  Different points of view.

 

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 No on this board you have been fine. Are you the same ana on the other board? If so, I did feel you might have been more harsh on that board, but here I give you a fresh start and have no problem with you.