We kept Cousin's Dog this week while she was on her FIFTH vacation of 2014. And we aren't talking camping at the local state park vacations either. 1 vacation with her and CS to Vermont to ski, one DisneyWorld trip with her and CS, a beach trip, a trip to Aspen for her, and now she and CS are out west.
Mom said something along the lines of, "See how happy Cousin's Dog is!"
Me: "Great, as long as I don't have to take care of her."
Mom, "You don't have to take care of her, so stop getting bitchy about it."
Me, "I don't think it's fair for you to call me a bitch for standing up for myself."
Mom agreed and apologized. Then said, "I jsut don't understand why you hate Cousin's Dog so much."
I said, "I don't hate cousin's dog. Taking care of her is a symbol of being used by Cousin for four years."
Then Christmas came up, and Sister and I pointed out that, if mom invites Cousin this year, then Cousin will probably assume she and CS are invited for Christmas 2015, when it's her turn to have CS. Mom's Christmas is the same time every year, and it's not like invitations are formal. You can't welcome somebody and not their kid for Christmas. If Mom just doesn't issue an invitation this year, then it's a clean break.
Mom started crying again about poor Cousin being alone on Christmas. I didn't tell Mom this, but I am SO SICK of her crying over Cousin's damn feelings. What about my feelings? What about the crappy Christmas we all had in 2013 b/c Cousin is a sh!tty parent, CS is a spoiled nasty brat, and Mom is too co-dependent to tell Cousin to remove her disruptive child from the room?
Her level of concern for Cousin is not odd for her.
I don't necessarily need advice. Mom's getting there, but at her own place. I guess I am frustrated b/c she has all these mixed feelings and I don't.
I know feelings aren't right or wrong, but my emotional reaction to her feelings is less sympathy and more frustration and "omg are we still doing this?" Which I don't share with her, of course, I vent to my sister or here.
Vent here all you want. I have told you everything I have to say about this before. I think you are doing the right thing. Continue to stand up for yourself. You are not a bitch for doing so. I am proud of you actually. There is a courage that comes from having the balls to speak your mind even if the opinion might be unpopular.
I think I would let your other sister handle the Christmas thing because she is the one most effected because CS harasses her child. She is the one that said she won't come if CS is there. So if it needs to be ultimatemed she will be the one to do it and you can stand by her on it.
I'm so sorry that your mother wants to include your cousin and her child for the holidays at the expense of her own daughter's enjoyment because of the little boy. That awkwardly worded sentence means your mom should be more concerned about her immediate family's comfort. We're happy to listen, so vent away.
